*Sigh*
Its a horrible feeling, knowing that someone you care about is in pain/ hurting through some form of depression or illness. I know this feeling well.
I am not one to shy away from internet friendships. In fact, I like how you don't have to pretend to be friends with people who you don't really get on with, like IRL. In Real Life you have to see people you don't really like, and be nice to them, and pleasant, when really all you want to do is kick them hard in the shins, gesture wildly at them using however many fingers you want, and stalk off, hopefully insulting them in a way that will make them want to steer clear of you in any near future. (OK, I know some people actually DO do that IRL, but lets face it, they don't have fake friends OR real friends... so.....)
On the internet, you can be friends with who you want to be friends with. You don't like them? Don't email/ IM them. Simple.
I have friends from the internet I have known for years. Even when I took my internet holiday for a year, they were still there upon my return. Same as it always was, plus more heartache, headaches and ballaches. Its nice. I chose them, they chose me, we all live together in harmony.
So, you can imagine my pain when one of them is going through a really hard time, and I can't be there to help. Being in another country sometimes sucks.
Sure, I am not the most sympathetic person. Infact, I will probably blog about those problems another time, but it doens't mean that I don't care. I do. Alot.
I sent this friend an email; asking if she was ok, I knew she had been down, and she had dissappeared from our usual stomping grounds. The email reply? Read like this:
"Not ok"
End of email.
:( I don't know what to do. I know, I can only offer her a supportive ear if she needs to vent. But what good is that really? I feel powerless right now. In truth, I would fly out to see her, and make sure she is ok, but I fear I am even less likely to help in person, than I am in email. I can't mull over words IRL like I do over emails. I tend to say what pops in my head. It never really helps a situation...
Why am I now supporting the internet?? There always has to be a devils damn advocate...
I guess I am just blogging this because I don't feel like I can vent the frustration anywhere else. What does one do, when a friend is in need, but so far away????
I wish I could teleport or something! Come on already, we can (*thinks of some impressive technology that supports argument...*) attempt to recreate the big bang in a "controlled enviroment" - why can't we get to grips with subatomic particle acceleration or something... like how I just made that up? I know it means Jack, but it sounded good, yah!?
Grrr. What happened to light hearted blogs?
Sam
4 comments:
I want to help too.
It sucks when you can't.
Oh, I commented too early. Sorry.
Most of that wasn't there.
I think I said already, the best thing you can do is let them know you care. That's worth more than anything else.
I still can't decide if the internet's wonderful for letting you get to know people you'd have never met, or infuriating for letting you get to know people you're probably never going to meet.
I'm probably the least useful guy when it comes to offering advice and that sort of thing. I'm more of a cwtch and a cup of tea type.
But it is the most frustrating thing when someone far away is going through a rough time and you can't do a damn thing about it. The best thing to do I guess is to just be ready to send some kind words if needed.
I totally understand how you feel.
It's like no matter what you say to them it doesn't feel like enough because you still aren't there.
& thanks for the advice, I think that's what I'm going to do.
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