A new dawn and a new day

Yeesh.

I had a moment today. With myself. Wait... that sounds rude, and kind of gross.... lets take it back a step.

I had a moment today, where I realised something. I can change my life. Which isn't really anything big, or new. But I just realised I can actually do it.

I really don't like the way I dress most of the time. I dress out of nessesity, rather than getting any kind of enjoyment out of it I just wear whatever I think will disguise this or that.

I have been trying to lose weight my entire life, but to no avail. At the moment I'm pretty positive I can do something about it. I know I can, but its about fitting it in with everything else in my life and sticking to it etc. So I have decided that in order for me to accomplish the task of losing weight and getting fitter, I will find pictures of clothes I want to be able to wear and aim to buy them and look good in them at the same time.

I'm always the casual person in the group. I wear heels, but these days its only every now and then. My basic wardrobe is Jeans and a top.

By the end of this year (yes... THIS YEAR), I will have bought at least ONE skirt and a pretty top to wear when I go out.

I'm going to change my wardrobe and my lifestyle. Because I can.

I'm a PC and I'm 24 and a half years old...

Sam

Is it just me, or did it just get really cold?

Brrr.

Its insane how cold its gotten over the past few weeks! Mental!

I never remember where I was up to on my previous blog, apart from the fact that it was mostly about the name of the business me and my sister are setting up. Which is sorted. We have a name. Although its not the name I wanted, I just thought best go with it, because I couldn't come up with anything else. So its all sorted. And my certificate came through today, confirming I am a make up artist. 5 months or so later. Jeez. Talk about waiting around for a piece of paper. But is all good, now all I need to do it get the insurance sorted and I may possibly register with Mac. Once I get back into doing makeup again, as I haven't had as much time as I would have liked to practise, I will probably start up a new blog page (another? I know... I just can't help it), to show off pictures... (I'm still undecided about doing this though... good job I no longer have to make my own decisions)

October was a great month by the by... Halloween. Woo. I put on such a good party. I never like hosting anything because the event is never as good as I imagine it will be. Too much pressure to be good usually means I can't enjoy. But this time it worked out so well and it was better than I thought it would be! Picture of me in my outfit below:

Well... not a full picture. But that's basically it. Me as Alice in Wonderland. Although I'm sure Alice didn't drink this drink. If I recall... was part of the punch I made diluted with gin. Why do I do it?? In case you are wondering. The clown looking thing in the back ground is my boyfriend... clowns!! I'm sure he did it just to freak me out. Nasty!!!

Things have been going quite well recently. Although I do have the urge to quit my job. My brother went to Australia a few months ago for travelling/ working fun. And so I don't have a brother around. However, one of my brothers friends works with me, and for a while he was my surrogate little brother (depressing when a little brother is 21 years old...). But now HE has up and left me to go to Australia. So I'm feeling all itchy feet'ed to start something new, or just do something fun. As per usual. But I never know what! That's my life I guess!!!

I haven't been to the cinema that much this past month... I did go and see An American Werewolf in London on the 30th of October at the cinema and it was brilliant! On the big screen!!! I love it when the cinema does a classic movie every once in a while, because you don't get stupid kids sitting in the row in front of you being loud and annoying! Mainly because the only people who go and watch these things are fans of the film already. If that makes sense?

I'll tell you what I did see though. Jennifer's Body. I don't know why I had any kind of hope for it being a good film, because it was the same writer as Juno (Overrated), but it really fell flat on its face. And it wasn't even Megan Fox who ruined it. She wasn't that bad... really! But its just the script. And the lingo. Why this woman who writes these things thinks she has to come up with slang words that no one would ever use is beyond me. I can only imagine she is hoping one of these lame, idiotic phrases or words is going to catch on and do what the word 'fugly' did for Mean Girls. But it really ain't gonna happen! Ranting. Always ranting!

I am already excited about the New Moon movie. I am not watching any of the trailers though, because they aren't teasers any more, they are **spoilers**. And I hate spoilers. So I have literally been sitting in the cinema with my eyes closed, hands over ears, humming. Just so I don't see or hear anything that would ruin the film for me. I'm a huge fan. Although not a band wagon fan. I liked it before the movie. (yeah, I said it!) Which is why I seriously can't go to see it in the first 2 weeks, because sitting next to annoying girls throughout the film would only damage my calm. And my calm is the only thing that keeps me from smashing the room up sometimes.

I'll leave you with no thoughts or anything. Although... I strongly urge you to watch Let The Right One In if you like vampire movies. It totally reinvents the genre if you ask me. Its subtitled, but don't let that put you off. Definitely one of the top 3 films that's been out this year.

Toodles!

Sam

Its so hard to be consiously creative

Grrrr.

Its been a while again. But not as long as before so its OK in my mind. HA!

Thinking of something in a creative manner has never been my strong suit. I mean. I would class myself as the artistic type, but its more of an accidental kind of creativity. I am so crap at planning something of value. Which is why I am having such a hard time trying to pick a business name for me and my sisters makeup business. Its driving me insane actually, because I can never stop trying to come up with a name. Even when I think I'm not doing it, I am... which is a pain in the backside, if you ask me. Which you didn't. But there it is anyway!

You see, the business mobile phone has been purchased. And the business cards are almost finished, design wise. So all we need is a business name... something make-up-y and beauty-like... but its so hard to come up with something that's not cheesy or just plain crapola!!! Once we have this name, we can print cards. Advertise. Set up a website. Set up the email address. So its a damn nightmare. Because so much stock is going to be put into this name. I need some help. Please. Someone just start suggesting something and maybe if we pool our inner thought demons, we can come up with something half decent!

In the mean time. When I'm not trying to think of 'the name', I haven't been up to much. Well. I went to London for a quick trip with some girly pals of mine. Which was nice, but exhausting, so it was lucky I took the following week off work. Which again, was exhausting. But still. SO worth it, because I got to chill out. But I have to admit, I have been a bit down the past few weeks, because my friends (even though they haven't said anything to me properly), think I am ditching them to spend time with my boyfriend. Which I'm not. Because I always try to see them when I can, its just when they do want to arrange something, I'm usually already pre-booked with something or someone else. Which isn't my fault, but I know they kind of see it as me consciously not spending time with them. Its a pain. Because that's what happened with one of my friends a few years back, and now we don't see her. And a passing comment was made the other day that there might be 'a similar situation' going on. Which I didn't even know about until it was said, and as soon as it was said, my mood hit an all time low. Its just a bit crap. Because I don't think people realise how hard it sometimes is to fit another person into your life and try to re-jig everything else to fit around that. I'm still trying to find the balance, and I'm a little upset that that hasn't been acknowledged. But Hey Ho. That's life.

I don't really like Facebook at the moment. I don't really like Twitter either. But with FB, its the constant updates of what people are doing on the Internet. Not what they are doing in general. Its more of an annoyance at the fact that everyday I get little updates saying someone has completed a quiz, and these are their results. OR someone has completed another level of this game... and THESE are their results. I don't care. Because it seems these people have way too much time on their hands, playing stupid games, and I'm both annoyed and grouchy... Its the classic feeling of feeling like you're the only person on the damn thing that only has time to do a quick wall post to someone for a catch up, and then naff off to do something real. In the real world. Like bake a cake. Or darn a sock. ha.

Its Autumn again and I love it. Although it makes me sad that this time last year I was in Paris. But... I love British autumn. I need to go taking photos before its all over. Its almost Halloween too, and I have been planning a kick ass party, with strobe lights, and fake graves, and... that's pretty much it, but it will be good. Now all I have to do is actually bring it all together somehow and make it happen. But, like they all say. It'll be alright on the night. I hope.

I'll keep you posted. You give me business name ideas!

Go.

Sam

God wanted me to be ill...

Waaaa!

God wanted me to be ill so I could blog. That's it. Reason for everything, right there. I got another email asking where I had gone (thanks for showing concern Lena :P ), and whaddaya know? I get struck down ill and finally have time to blog.

I seriously am mostly busy all the time these days. Faffing around every night of the week, trying to fit everything in, and I admit, blogging falls to the wayside. But it shouldn't really, because I DO enjoy it. I do!

There are a lot of things to catch you up on. Although, you know I won't be able to remember them now I'm up here at the podium.

The best place to start is right here, right now and work my way back (whoever said starting at the beginning was the best place was on drugs for sure!). I HAVE TONSILLITIS! I do. Its here. Residing in me. OH JOY! Can you hear the gospel choir? Maybe its just me. I have been a little out of it today. It all started last Thursday.... kind of. Because, I have been putting off the illness for about 3 weeks (what? I had stuff to do. It wasn't convenient!), but it finally caught up with me on my busiest weekend of the year! Typical. I guess the warning signs were there. I literally couldn't breath for 2 weeks. And then Thursday. I was fine Wednesday. I promise. But Thursday? I felt like I had been hit by the mother of all colds. It would have been fine. I dosed up and went to work (much to everyone's complaints), went home half way through the day (I think... but now I can't remember), went back in on Friday because everyone knows if you skip work/ school in the day, you can't go out at night, but I wanted to see the boyfriend, so I went over and lay comatose on his sofa while he tended to my hallucinatory state of being. I then went home. Slept. Got up... again, dosed up, but it was all sunny so I felt better anyway, and then it started. The entire day outside at the Coldplay gig in Manchester. It was amazing, I have to say.

Me and my friend got there for about 4 and wandered around the place getting food and seats, and then the bands started. Which were cool. White Lies, Jay-Z and then when the sun went down, Coldplay. And it was one of the best gigs I have been to. We went into the crowd for their part to keep warm. As luck would have it, some genius people decided to try to get through the crowd with cigarettes in their hands (the world is full of smart and thoughtful people isn't it?), a lot of people were drunk by the time they even started (I still don't get why people would get drunk at a gig...), and the clowns next to me started taking pills and rolling spliffs. Awesome. But Coldplay were amazing. I can't praise the show enough. The interaction with the crowd was really good, and the stage set was brilliant too. I would watch them again and again (with a coat on). Of course, spending 2 hours trying to get back to the halfway point to the train

station home was a downer. The trip there took about 30 minutes max. I was so cold and ill it wasn't funny. We missed the last train home and had to get picked up in the end. Still, would do it again!

Bed.

Wake up, and its Sunday, so I went over to see the boyfriend again, just check up on him. You know. You can't leave them alone for too long! And then I was off out again to another gig. This time it was Ray Lamontagne. I love Ray. I really do. He is so talented. Again. I could watch him forever. But all this, without a coat... and it was SO cold in the venue. So I wake up on Monday and I can hardly swallow, but I'm going strong. Working as well as I can, because I have loads of work to do, and I go to see the boyfriend again because he was cooking me dinner. (He is a good find), and I couldn't stop shaking. I couldn't. I was freezing. So I had to go home early, and I woke up feeling fine. Of course, Tuesday afternoon I was shivering again, and then sweating, and then shivering... I rang the doctors, went to see them today and I speak only the truth, she said to me "Ohh dear, that's NOT good".... My tonsils are shot to hell. I am shivering as I type this, but also keep getting really hot. So no work for me tomorrow. I am glad, and not glad, because I hate going in to work and no one has done my stuff whilst I have been gone... Selfish, I know, but my stuff needs to be done! Ahhh. Oh well. I have to let myself rest apparently. humph. I ain't happy about that!

Rant over. I hope you appreciated the in depth run down of my sickness. ha ha. On a side note completely off that topic, I have done so much since I last blogged that it would be impossible to recap. I went to Ikea, I saw loads of films. Had a rant at the Unlimited people at cineworld because I don't think I'm getting a good enough deal for my dollar. um... oh yeah. And I am currently obsessed with baking. I am still in the preliminary stages of it all, but its all about pies, cakes, muffins, cookies and brownies with me at the moment. Its insane. I haven't made anything worth taking a photo of yet, but I'm making carrot cake on Saturday so I'll wack a photo up here. I did some delusional baking the other day and made the best sponge I have ever made. Score!

Finally, because I'm running out of things to talk about, Halloween is coming up. I love Halloween. With a passion, so me and boyf and a friend are throwing a Halloween party at his house. Its all planned. Making a guy Fawkes style body to hang out of a window with a knife in its back, and fake grave stones for the garden. Its going to be swell. And my outfit is on its way. I will link you up to the site once it arrives and I deem the site worthy of promoting. But so far the personal touches of the website have been top notch.

I'm going to have to love and leave. Its starting to get hot in here... might be my laptop on my knee..

Toodles all.

Sam

Its beginning to look a lot like Christmas

Well..

Its not, but today I had that Christmas-y feel. I can't be the only one who gets that... its like, a feeling... that's specific to a certain time of year. I guess I felt goodwill to all man or something. Except I didn't, because I was at work at the time, getting trained on something... voluntarily. Yes, I said it! I volunteered to be trained on this subject. Wowzer. Maybe that's what brought this feeling on.. maybe I am more bookish in the winter months..? It could be true. Just yesterday I looked outside and saw it was raining, and so I thought to myself "Sam (Yes, I speak to myself like I am not myself), Sam (I said), Maybe its time you started that new Stephen King book you bought the other day, you know, the one you bought even though you said you weren't going to buy anymore books until you have read every last one of the ones you bought previous to this internal discussion...?"

Of course, I chose to ignore myself, because at the end of it all, I didn't feel like reading at all (trust my internal dialogue person to butt into my music listening, email writing time!!). But that must be it! When the weather isn't so savory, I want to bury my head in knowledge. Perhaps knowledge is the kindle to the souls fire, and if the soul is warm, so is the body? Yeah. A load of old crap. But hey! They pay me to make this stuff up on the spot.

Ok ok. So I don't get paid... damn it. I should get paid, right?!

Listening to music is once again my main focus in life. But I am in the age old spot of what to listen to. I was shown this music programme the other day and I haven't looked back. But as it turns out, the blessing is also a curse. Too much choice isn't always good for you. Especially when you don't actually KNOW what you want to listen to. Bring back Internet radios, that fine tune your listening and suggest artists you might like... what? They are still out there? Phew! Ok! I will still keep good old Jango in my favorite toolbar!

I was given a postcard of an artist yesterday by a friend, Just Lianne, and honestly, this guy is a great artist. Just check out his site. I love finding cool little arty things through other people - so thanks, Li-Li, for ripping the post card out of the book for me, and wrecking the perfectly kept cards - I will treasure it forever! Sadly, I can't find the one I have in postcard form on the website, but hit the link for James Jean and be away with yea!

Sorry for all the links. I am just in a linking mood right now! HA!

Life has been super mad-hectic recently. I don't even know why, but I have been busy pretty much every night of the week for the past couple of weeks. Which A. isn't like me, and 2. Isn't like, me. (you have to imagine me saying the last point with an American twang, like, totally...)

I am such a lazy bugger, I love staying in 60% of the time, and then thinking about going out 40% of the time. But I haven't had a choice. I have been trying to squeeze seeing friends into the week, as well as squeezing in seeing the B'f. I ain't complaining, because I do actually like the fact that I have stuff to do, but please... just a few days off? I really need a holiday. I dream of fiji... *sigh*, although I don't want to go back to Fiji.. its Aaaages away. I need a break from work etc. I really need to go back to America for a while, and I really want to hit the Cannucks side of things at some point too! Anyway, what was I saying? Oh yeah. Busy, busy, busy. But its all good.

I have been putting make up skills into practise - already have 1 wedding under my belt, and I have another one on Saturday, only thing is, its not just a show up, throw some make up at some faces, and go and get in the bath... no... alas, this is a friends wedding! So, I have to be up and out for 9 and then that's me out for the rest of the night. no rest for the wicked it seems. I have to take all my own stuff and get ready on the road (not literally outside, on the road.. can you say Brrrr?). I like home comforts when I am getting ready. But I guess i can make do. It wouldn't be so bad if my car was available, but my brother basically killed it. I would be madder, but I am just glad my brother is OK, so I can't be 'mad' mad about it, but it does put a slight damper on the whole freedom thing. I have to get lifts everywhere.. this wedding being one of them, and yes. I have already been through the ordeal of having to get a new outfit for the wedding. Today, Actually.

I hate shopping with a firey passion. Not because i hate clothes, but because nothing looks good on me. Ever. I just hate putting clothes on and feeling crap, and that's what shopping is for me. But in the end of a painful 2 hours shop, I got a canary yellow dress (which will be re-used for any other wedding I may attend, if I make it through this one alive), with some cute little black shoes, with purple on them (yellow and purple.. its ALL the rage!). I guess its not so bad. I can afford to spend however much I spent - luxury of living at home, although I have decided just recently that I COULD live without such luxuries - and plan to go through all my expenses and see how much goes out each month, and on what... I might have to cancel some subscriptions (the charity can go, but I am keeping my cinema pass) - and now I have a new car on the way, I have to see what that will set me back, but the final decision of the past week has been that I need to move out. And find a job I actually like.

The joys of being at the decision stage of my life. Luckily I have a good support system with my friends, and my new (ish.. is he still new? I don't know anymore), fella. Still, I will miss my Just Lianne - Just keep in touch, and let me know when you have a new place. I am SO coming to see you!

And that's all she wrote!

Sam

On a P.S note - I saw Harry Potter the other day... it was OK - except the lack of actual story and the sexual innuendos..... trust me, that wasn't a spoiler.

Its time like these.

Yep.

I was walking home today and realised all my relationships are good at the moment. It was quite satisfying. Which is cool.

I am tired. But I don't really mind today. Its Sunday, which is the best day to be tired.

It's been one of those weeks, where everything has been kind of stressed, and fast paced, but really good at the same time because I felt like I have achieved something this week. I got a couple of new Cd's the other day. Dolly Partons new (ish) album 'Backwoods Barbie' (surprisingly very good!), and Prince 'Purple Rain'. I love bargain bins, they just add to a good shopping trip.

Things with Le Buff are good. I think I was nice and let him see me every day this week bar Monday and today.... I am trying to be sweet to him. Hehe. We kind of had one of those weeks where we had a heart to heart and now feel a little bit closer. Which is nice. I like talking to people and feeling like something was gained from the conversation. I don't think it happens enough when you talk to people. Its usually just for entertainment value that I have conversations - you know, its the friendship thing where you just talk and it doesn't mean much, but it does... but this week I have been having real conversations. Its strange that I know when these 'real' conversations occur. Surely one should have these all the time, but I guess that's not really true. Huh...

I love all of my friends at the moment. I had a realisation that all my friends are here right now, almost. And if not here, then some where out there, but contactable. Which doesn't always happen as people drift in and out of the social network of life sometimes, but right now I feel everyone is in reach, and I pray I don't let that slip for a while, because I like knowing that there are people out there whom I can connect with and hang out with and talk to and stuff, and its easy, and not a chore. Yeay for friendships!

I just had coffee and hung out with an old friend and it was fun - we are going to be doing a new project which is basically for our creative sides. She is a writer and me a photographer, so we are going to try to incorporate that into a new blog - the link will probably follow once we get it sorted out. But I am well and truly excited about the prospect of creating something. I haven't felt like that in a while. More.... frustrated at my lack of enthusiasm and inspiration. But this will be good. And force me to take more picture. Which I HAVE to find time to do. Its vital I do it, for my mental health... I am trying to buy a new camera from someone at work at the moment. I say 'trying'. We have an intranet at work with a buy and sell notice board, so someone puts what they are selling on it, and its up to you to email them to say you want it. I am pretty sure I was the first person to email him about it, so I hope i get it. I ain't even haggling on the price. No sir. I am full pricing it up. Fingers crossed I get it, because its the joy of a new camera that's keeping my spirits up at the moment. My other camera is amazing, but its bigger than your average camera so not good to carry around for long periods of time. This new one is slightly smaller, and will hopefully mean I can take it around with me and be snap happy without feeling like the self conscious photog.

I am also going to try to contribute to my friends project. A book about good things. So a list of the good things in life. I am trying to conduct one now, which reminded me of a project I was gonna do, which was to make all my friends draw a picture.. a self portrait or a picture of something they like, or something that describes their personality and put it in a book. Or write a poem or something... I like the idea of collaborations. So I might set something up for that. I hope. But knowing me I will forget! Curses!

Planning to be very busy this week. But I need to start going to bed earlier. 3 am every morning this weekend is not good for you. I can tell you that for free. Sleep more. Yessssss.

Sam

Ouch!

Oof!

Talk about over reaction.

I have just been on Twitter. I still don't condone the use of Twitter as a means of following "celebrities". In fact. the whole things still puzzles me. I like to see what my friends updates are. I mean, I like it when my friends text me random updates, so reading them online also has its comical uses. But I don't want to know what Ashton Kutcher is doing, or Demi Moore, or Pete Wenz, or Ryan Seacrest.... um... why would I want to know? Why? See, its all so mental. Although, if you look on my twittering page, you will see I do follow some celebrities, and some YouTube people... But that's purely for little comical references which I can later bring up in conversations with the cool 'hip' kids at work. For instance:

"Oh my God... Did you SEE what Lily Allen tweeted last night?"

Point of fact. I don't and will never follow her. That was just a random example.

I guess there are highlights to the world of twittering, twitting, and twirping.

Another one I am glad to follow, just for cool references is FragDolls - which is a twitter for gamer girls. I don't know if I would class myself as a 'gamer girl' for sure. But I do play World of Warcraft every now and then, so I feel a kinship towards the type.

This little nugget was acquired just earlier.

So thanks to Twitter, I have found this. A young boy, 'freaking out' because his mom took away his World of Warcraft account....

And now. Thanks to YouTube I have had a spat with a little dipshhh.... um, another YouTuber. Apparently, and I quote:

"wtf this is not fake he is a fucking gamer and adicted u can tell ur not a gamer"

Ouch. Harsh. Wait.. What? I bless the Internet for bringing such joys to my life, and curse it for letting annoying kids play with the Internet. Plus, there is an annoying none usage of grammar in everything I read these days. I can't be the only person who thinks that the English language is falling into the abyss that is the Internet, can I? Sure, I make up my own sentences, and put words in orders that other people wouldn't (exhibit A)... but I try to spell, and that counts for something if you ask me!

To conclude on this point. I hate the Internet, and I love it. But more than that, I am insanely annoyed that this little brat of a boy spelt about 3 things wrongly, and didn't use ANY punctuation/ grammar. Say it with me. "Summer school".

To veer totally off track now. I went to the IMax cinema in Manchester for the very first time. I didn't think I would be impressed. They say its 8 stories tall. I scoffed. But man, is it big. And when the action started I was pretty much mesmerised. I can imagine that seeing one of those documentary type films on it would be cool. Seeing Transformers on it was intense, and sensory overload, but lets face it, robots are cool and everyone knows it. WOO!

I am ScumBagSam.

I am here.

I am blogging.