OK

I have to make this short, as I am pretty sure I am gonna get grabbed to join in with the family fun and festivities soon - but I wanted to take this chance to wish everyone a MERRY CHRISTMAS!

If you are feeling festive, help a sister out ;

ttp://www.jpgmag.com/photos/1352010

Its a little christmas competition - pictures with the theme 'fairy tales' - a simple click to vote. :D

Wishing you all the best,

Sam

Pain for Pleasure

Argh!

I have been doubled over in pain today. It was the first time I ever felt any kind of pain that made me wish I could just die from it. Seriously. Its still hurting now, although its slightly subsided and I find if I breathe through it, it doesn't hurt as much.

I am a little bit scared. I don't want to have to go to hospital if it persists as I have never been to hospital before and I am terrified of them. :( Its rubbish. I was curled up both on the floor of my room, the floor of my sisters room, the floor of the bathroom (thinking that maybe if I was sick I would feel better), but nothing helped. In the end I just had to curl up on my bed in a position that slightly helped and close my eyes. It was awful. I was writhing, Actually writhing in pain.

I am just annoyed with myself that its so close to Christmas and I have fought off every infection and illness thats been going, swearing not to get sick before the new year and now this! Grrrrr! On top of that, once I started to feel a little tiny bit better my nose started to run, I had an itchy throat and I was sneezing!

BAH HUMBUG!

I think I am being punished by the *Gods* (not really though, just being dramatic), because I saw Twilight last night. I loved it, and I love Edward... *sigh* He is a dreamy character who is bad but good... I love the complicated ones.

Sam

Fa La La La La La La La

LA!

Goodness me, its almost that day, and I am hardly ready. Although, I finish work for 2 weeks tomorrow (much to the annoyance of my hard working colleagues), I still don't feel as much of the Christmas cheer as I should do. I am going to be working hard on that for the next few days.


Tonight I went to a Christmas carol sing-along thingymagig at the Bridge water in Manchester, it was hilarious. An orchestra, a singer and a book full of the song lyrics. Genius. I sang operatic style for the most of it, and then had to stop when my sister started glaring at me. She even stopped singing herself, at one point, saying 'I am not singing anymore, you are being ridiculous'. Well, honestly! I am sure she just wanted to stop so she could hear me better. I know her game!!


Its getting socially claustrophobic at the moment. I am not good with commitments and future plans - but ALL this next coming week I have plans to do things with people. Grrrr. I want to rest for a bit, I am still fighting off the cold/sickness bug thats going around. No no, don't worry, I haven't actually HAD it, but everyone else has, and i just know I am next. I keep telling myself that I have had the flu jab so I cant get ill anymore. Its the power of positive thinking and so far (fingers crossed, touch wood...), its working a treat! I will allow my body its deserved break from good health in the first week of January. Its only fair!


I don't have time to blog that much this coming week. I really want to, all the time. But I can't! Sucks! I am trying to keep up with everyone else's blogs too. Oh the things we do for our Internet obsessions. *sigh*



Its time to be serious now (come on everyone, rearrange those faces). I think I am a human chameleon (is that how you spell that?!?!?).

It bugs me and makes me paranoid at the best of times. Basically, I am always told that my handwriting is just like everyone elses. And I mean that. EVERYONE elses. Depending on who I am sat with, or talking to, my hand writing changes. I don't know if thats normal or not (although probably not). I don't think I have my own hand writing style. I must do, but I will be damned if I know what it looks like. hmmmm. I also find that I get on with ALOT of people. I mean that... A lot. Its not a good personality thing, because I can be a HUGE bitch. But I change, depending on who I am with. Again, normal? I have different groups of friends, and I am different with each of them. Thats why I don't like to mix friends, as I wouldnt know who to be around them all at the same time, aaaaaaannnnd, I get on really well with loads of guys - majority of the time we seem to have LOADS in common, in a spooky way, and humour very similar. But I don't know if it is actually MY humour, or if I am just imitating them...? Do you get what I mean? I think about this alot, and wonder who I actually am sometimes. I know our friends are infulential to who we are, but I don't know if I am actually compatiable with all the people I know, or if I just pretend subconsciously. Yeah - DEAL WITH THAT! :S


Keep on the look out for ***Christmas miracles****, and do at least ONE good deed this weekend.


Sam



ps. Twilight tomorrow, yeay!

T'was the night of the Party

And...

All through the bar, not a creature was stirring, it all went too far...

Christmas party is over and done with. I probably still feeling the effects from it too. Well, my feet still hurt from dancing, but I can't blame the tiredness on it. I did go out again last night too, so.... oops.

My work Christmas party was everything I expected it to be. Messy! But fun too. Don't get me wrong! I definitely decided that getting drunk is not something I want to do for a looooong while now, anyway.

Tipsy = fun.

Drunk = not

Me and a few of my colleagues went for drinks before we went to the actual party. Genius idea, I know. And I had a couple before I left the house. But the first bar was fun, its a place my brother works, so we get cheap drinks from the bar guys. Connections, you know! 4 shots for £6 when they were about £2.50 each. Niiiiiiiice. That bar is always full of wannabes though, and gets slightly annoying. People like to be 'spotted' there. Snore AND yawn. Don't people have more to do than stand in a bar, waiting for someone to point and go 'ooooh, look who that is!!'??? Well, we won't get into that now. It annoys me to an extreme extent though.

One of these people just so happened to be one of those damned ridiculous Cheeky Girls. Humph. Ruining my night, I am sure all eyes had been on me prior to her entrance! pft. ;)

We left that bar to trek onto the main party. Side note: 4 grown women, and 1 almost grown lad in a mini cooper is not a recipe for fun, but a recipe for 'ouchies' with a light dusting of 'sh!t, I think I just broke my back'... Don't ever attempt it unless you are capable of defying gravity and sitting on windows or ceilings is the norm.

The main party was half in full swing. And then, of course, I arrived and everything was more fun! (I have to tell myself these things, it makes me feel better!). We had a few 'free drink' vouchers as it was all prearranged and prepaid for, for the majority. But to be quite honest, I didn't spend a thing that night, but ended up having more shots than I care to remember.

There was dancing, unflattering photos taken but most importantly, I didn't make a fool out of myself. Oh no. It was my manager. Again! The only thing I have to be ashamed of is the fact that I had to leave at about 12:30. But I don't even care - as my ride was sober (thankfully) and I was drunk enough to leave the party knowing I still had my dignity in tact. If I had stayed I know I would have lost that somewhere by morning!

My manager is a mother of 2, who doesn't get out much. When she drinks, she goes for it. Little shadow of a woman. She is short and slim, and alcohol seems to take her body captive and make her its bitch. She fell off a chair, attempted to break dance, by getting on the floor and spinning on her back. There was all sorts. It was brilliant!

Still, major drinking session - still drunk the next day. The taboo X-mas shopping was done in the afternoon followed by another night out with some friends. I had decided not to drink.. but, hair of the dog. It really does take the edge off! All in all it was a knackering weekend.

The question on everyones' lips last night was 'whatever happened to Alan Parrish'? I found him this afternoon though, so it was all good.

I would love it if at least ONE person who reads this knows what I am going on about!! haha.

Keep it snappy

Sam

**Random question of the day : if you had to be reincarnated, what would you come back as?**

Christmas Parties = Cringe

NO!

Tomorrow is my work Christmas Party.

UHOH!

My work Christmas 'DO' is something we all look forward to. And something we all regret the next day.

Too many drinks drank, too many people groped openly, too many fights, and too many kisses under the mistletoe often lead to people being highly embarrassed for the whole of the next year. A guy last year even got fired just after the Christmas party because of what he did!... and 2 people got caught doing something very naughty on the buffet table...

That pretty much sums up where I work!

This year, I am kind of dreading it. I don't usually do the embarrassing stuff, and I don't really feel like drinking too much (not that I need a drink in me to have fun!), but I am dreading it for everyone else I work for! Ha. Especially my manager, who tends to get herself in quite a bit of trouble.

I love having a laugh, and a good time, but there is always a point where really drunk people annoy me... Unless I am the really drunk person! Ah well, I will just have to watch and see what goes down. It should be fun anyway!

Speaking of the Christmas season (no, I am not going to talk about the taboo Oppingshay!), We gave our secret Santa gifts at work. The guy I bought for, loved his gift. And I mean LOVED it. He was walking around with this 'Dirty old man' Walking stick ALL day. It was brilliant.>> Until it got annoying<<. teehee. As for MY present, which is of course the MOST important thing. I got a Spinning top that never stops spinning and a Where's Wally (aka Waldo for you Americans)

Book. ;)

The person that got me knew me SO well. It was amazing! I spent a good while searching for Wally after I got it. People wouldn't play with me though, because I "found him too quickly". What can I say?? I excel in finding him! Although I always find the girl first, is she called Wanda? and the Wizard is always fun to find, and the dogs tail! Its just amazing! So simple, yet so fun!

I am going to wrap this up now. But I need to get something that's been annoying me off my chest. I have told anyone who would listen about this. I got a verbal warning at work yesterday. For too many emails sent. I was flagged, and I.T had to check my computer out and I have been "abusing my emails". I apologised to Outlook, and explained that I thought it knew that's what my intentions were when I used it. Sending emails. It was honest, and I thought, nobel. But it felt like I tormented it excessively, so... I was told to cut down. I had sent 100+ emails to a guy I work with in the span of a month... he sits about 6 meters away from me. What can I say? we get bored. Also, I type quite fast. So I am not wasting time when I send emails, plus, I do MASSIVE amounts of work. I would love it if they checked out my productivity. I shouldn't be put down because I can multitask! Should I? Surely there are loopholes?!! Circumstances that mean I shouldn't have to get 'a mark on my record' ... Not that I care about that, because I am not a lifer, I am leaving next year and its all completely foreign to me that you COULD actually get told off for emailing people too much... its just strange.

So lets get this straight. At my company you can get in trouble for too many emails, and fired for something you do on a night OUT of work... but its OK for other people to have 'relations' in public, at the same place the fight happened on said night out.... I am confused about the way people operate. There is no logic at all! NONE!

Ah, well. I am just going to let it drop now.

I shall leave you with a picture of me, after I was particularly bored at home, so decided to do alien like makeup...

Sam

Truths are out there

OK!

So I have stolen this from one of the blogs I watch - The English Clergyman - But still. I thought it was a good idea, and what is the world without good ideas that spread like Peanut butter on toast? Exactly!

And so I am brought to the topic at hand. Here are a list of truths I have come to grasp in my time on this Earth.

• Home Alone always makes you laugh.
• Home Alone can be watched at any time in the year, but feels SO much more **magical** in December (this is also true of any of the first 3 Harry Potter films).
• Ideas are worth having, and are what make the world go round.
• Believing is seeing.
• Trying to chop up a swede (the vegetable, not a swedish person), is increasingly hard to do, and you can cut your thumb... twice. OUCHIE!
• Sometimes you can be so cold, you feel hot.
• Missing people you only met a couple of times is possible.
• Some things aren't meant to last.
• Some chances are worth taking, but some aren't. Its up to you to decide whether you are willing to try things - it is NOT up to other people.
• Life is hard (Not original, but a truth!)
• Decisions are hard to make.
• Its easy to learn these truths, and easy to sound wise, but using these truths, and being wise are not easy.
• Being in bed is the most comfortable place I can think of.
• People will be less inclined to shout or complain at you if you speak calmly and are sincere in your apologies.
• You shouldn't have to apologise for being late unless your lateness resulted in a fatal accident.
• You should always apply undercoat to your nails before nail varnish. it DOES make it last longer.
• Friends are worth their weight in gold.
• Cauliflower and Broccoli are some of the weirdest vegetables ever.
• Cauliflower cheese gives a lot of people tummy ache.
• Pocket watches will never go out of style.
• Mustang cars are sex on wheels
• Its never uncool to refer to something as 'sex on wheels'. Unless it doesn't have wheels.

I will probably think of more truths later, and I had more in mind before I wrote this, but these are the ones off the top of my head. :)

Sam

twitterpated

Chirp.

What is with this Twitter thing? I always hear about it, but ignore it. There are far too many Internet things that try to suck you in. Myspace, Facebook, YouTube, Blogger, Bebo, WoW and now I keep hearing 'Twitter this, twitter that'. Julia Nunes doesn't have a twitter page, but apparently someone has set one up in her name. Its not her...?


Due to my increasing curiosity, I decided to check it out. And I am so confused by what I found. What is it all about? Can someone tell me? It seems to me that Twitter is pointless beyond all other pointless things. Is it really just a site that says 'Sam is making soup...'???? Or 'Sam is going to try to find another website to waste minutes of my life on'???


Seriously? I mean, come on, you ARE kidding me? Right? please say yes, there can't be a WHOLE website dedicated to I am's.... !!!!!!

Its 'insania' - to quote Peter Andre.


Today I came over all funny, like I was slightly delusional, everyone I work with thought I must have been taking drugs at lunch. I seriously don't know what happened to me. I went coo-coo crazy. But work is work, so I don't care if I slightly make a fool out of myself there. :)


I would love to say I have more interesting things to blog about, but I don't. I am currently reading Brisingr by Christopher Paolini - its the 3rd installment of the Eragon books (aka The Inheritance Trilogy). Its good. I love kiddy books. Something to lose myself in, that doesn't involve real life things. Why would I want to lose myself in something that COULD be real? Make believe is much more fun! Although one day I will read a 'grown up' book...



Keep making peace and spreading joy.


I will leave you with the following images. I hope they change your life:

Sam

Battle stations!

Ahoy!

Tomorrow is the start of the Christmas season. I am so unprepared for it. I haven't started to shop yet. Well, no, thats a lie. I have bought one present, which I am very proud of. My secret santa pressie for the office. I got this older guy I sit opposite. I thought it would be a struggle to purchase a gift for him, and was going to go for a mug for the office. It would have been a funny one, but then a ray of hope for a better present was, well, presented to me in the shape of a gadgets shop. You know the kind - ones filled with things that light up, and useless crap that no one actually needs, but find it hard to resit buying because of all the flashing lights. yes, I am easily swayed by the magic of the blue L.E.D... There it was, it all its (non flashing, sadly) glory, the 'Dirty old Mans Walking Stick'.

What is this, I hear you cry. Well, have a look at this >>

That's right! Its a walking stick, with a mirror on the bottom, so he can look up ladies skirts. Some might say its 'inappropriate' to give this to a colleague, but, trust me, where I work, this kind of thing is expected! If its isn't rude, or offensive, its boring!

And so, here I am, with this sitting in my room, waiting to be handed over to the man I see at work everyday, whereas my family and friends, who I see for the rest of my life (god hoping), are all present-less at this particular moment in time.

The only real chance I will have to get everyones stuff will be on my trip to York next weekend. That. Is. Going. To. Be. A. Pain.

Last year, York was jam packed with people panic buying. And now, I am going to have to be one of them. Cripes! I will never learn.

OK, OK, this is going to be the last time I mention Christmas shopping now, until Christmas actually arrives. I swear. I am sick of thinking about it, so I will no longer bring it to the forefront of ones mind.

Other than 'that' - I have been totally bored out of my mind.

I watched the beauty that was The X Factor last night. I haven't seen it since the first live show and all I can say is. NEXT.

Why oh why are these people SO bad at singing? The only good one is Alexandra, but even she annoys me because she wants it so bad. To me, that's just plain annoying. She seems like she totally thinks she has it in the bag. To be fair, she probably does, but the point is, if she doesn't get it, I think she will throw the biggest hissy fit ever known to reality TV.

It seems that the X factor crew also just discovered key changes. How many of them were there last night?

I thought it was 'Britney Week' this week (poor performance on her part, too), but looking back, it was definitely 'Can we get a key change into this song?' Week. Of course the answer was yes. In goes the key change. But it doesn't always work (see the obvious failures at it - Westlife, stand up, its your turn to shine).

The only person I can ever forgive for key changes in songs is Barry Manilow himself. And lets face it. He has to. He can't hit the notes he may have once tried to in his younger years. Although, Saying that, I would have thought he couldn't thrust himself around like in his younger years, but recent footage of him in action prove me wrong.

I am loving Evan Rachel Wood at the moment.

Not the freaky Pale faced, retro version though. The cute blonde bombshell version. I was reading an interview in a magazine and she seems like she is one of those young (21) girls, trying to fit into the mould of the mature woman. All demure and classy. I usually hate people like that. But for some reason, I just want to befriend her. It seems she thinks she can only be a lindsay lohan type, or dita von teese type, and there is no middle ground. THERE IS! I am sure of it. But I am sure she will figure it out eventually. 21 is a damn young age, and even though I am only 23 years young, there is such a huge difference between me at 21 and me at 23. I think once this girl figures it all out, she will be one to watch.

Enough of me ranting. I have to go on the treadmill. Yawn.

Sam

A little less conversation, a little more action

Or.

As I recall, Less talk, more action.

I am so bored at the moment. With many a thing, and so I am spending my free time less talking, and more actioning. But not in the literal sense, as I am actually talking to myself in a sing song kind of way, and the action front? Aint happening so much. I plan to go on the treadmill for about 30 mins later though... what? What kind of action did you think I meant? (*Insert simpathy here*).

As I was sat at my desk today, inbetween dealing with the shakes, and then the hot flushes, I noticed that I was in total fact -Bored. I am bored of my clothes. (not bored of my hair though, come on... £100 worth of it, I have to love it for about 5 months!). Bored of my room at home (Need. Own. Place), and bored of life in general. Well, no, not life. Thats a sad thing to say. "I'm bored of life". What do you do when you get bored of life? I mean.. LIFE! gaw, I don't think THAT could ever happen.

Where was I? Oh lordy, I am a bit delusional today. OK. So, Bored of work and sh1t like that. And so of course the only option is to... SHAKE IT UP BABY! I am gonna look at places to go next year for an adventure with whichever friends I can drag along with me. I no do things alone! That be scary!

America is always first and foremost in my mind when wanting to go anywhere as I had a brilliant few months there last year. I kinda was thinking of going back, but now, after emailing conversations with friends at work (doing the actual work is so overrated!), Canada is looking more and more appealing! I mean, Look at that! >>

£££££££££££££££££££££££££££££££££££

But I have to save. Which I do do well, but what with Christmas looking to be expensivo, and then the new year, and I want to buy a whole new wardrobe for my new not bored self. Curses. Yes, I know. Everyone is strapped for cash. But I just wanted to bitch about it here, because I can't bitch about it to friends as they all have less money than me as they are studenty types, or own houses or have kids. So I know I have no right to moan to them. So I don't. Have you ever complained to a mother about having no money? (mothers; don't answer this). Its an offence punishable by death! (Mothers; laugh here, and agree!).

I am going to backtrack and talk about the illness that seems to be sweeping across the Cheshire plains at the moment. The Flu. I had the flu jab. So why do I feel shaky and then hot? I had a hot flush this afternoon and even my forearms went red. I have also got the slightly delirious thing going on. Only a bit. But enough to have made me say to myself loudly at work 'Oh god, I hope i don't have meningitis'. 3 people turned around and looked at me like I was a. Insane b. Contagious and c. exciting. (the 3rd person is highly excitable.)

So that's what I learned today!! Don't announce to an air circulated building that you think you might have a contagious disease. It won't go down well.

My hands are cold. I feel this was a very off the wall blog. I don't know what I just uncovered within myself. But it seems I am going away next year, and I said I wanted to go to Canada? Did I say that? (checks...), Yep. So... flights to Canada.

Stay snappy,

Sam

Chap stick, Chap stick, Chap stick. I love it. **Strawberry** flavoured. I got 2 new lip balms and out of the 2 (other one is khiels), the chap stick is by far the best! And at only £1 something, what a bargain!!

Its Sunday, Sunday, Sun-day, so why isn't it sunny?

Blergh!

Today is a horrible horrible day, weather-wise. Its all rainy and dark. Why? Oh, yeah, silly me, winter! Now I remember why I love summer!

It has been so cold this weekend, and I keep having brain meltdowns. I am blaming the chill in the air. I keep starting sentences and then just having complete and utter meltdowns halfway through, where all my words jumble into one long strange sound. I keep doing it whilst I am typing too, which must mean its spreading. I don't know what could start doing it next? My feet? I might be walking down the street tomorrow and instead of moving my right foot, I might try to move my left foot again, and end up on my a$$. I had better wear protective padding etc. just incase. Cool, it may not look, but safe I will be. I don't know why Yoda just burst into my head and typed that, but its probably got something to do with the fact that Starwars is on TV right now!

*AWWWW*

I went to the Christmas markets yesterday. Hungover. As on Friday I did go out, and went back to my sisters boyfs house with some friends and decided to drink (vodka and ginger beer - don't do it), play poker (its a well known fact that I don't fold, even if I have crap cards), and basically just make lots of noise and laugh a lot. I don't know why I did it, know I would have to get up early to meet my friend to go shopping, but I did. I walked to the station and was still drunk for half the day. But I made it. Victory was mine! mwahahaha!

Christmas markets are fun. But it was so cold! Bitterly. I am just glad I am not up in Scotland right now, like some folk I know, as its apparently *bloody* freezing! Eek. Wrap up warm little ones! The market was great though. It was packed, but great. Its funny how people lose all their manners and become little demons when walking around a market. It would make me mad if I could say I am completely calm in such situations, but I know I am not. I do let people through, especially if I can see they are a group etc. But I can also snap if someone pushes in front of me! Hello! I am not walking this slow on purpose!!

As a general rule, I like to do the whole 'pay it forward' kind of thing. Little good deeds. But I think my attempts are failing, as I have yet to have anyone pay anything forward for me. Nope, No sirree. Ah well, I will keep trying, in hopes that it will catch on!

After markets I went to see Edward Scissor Hands, the Ballet. It was... different. It was good. But different. They changed the story slightly, but the dancing was great, and it was funny. Very magical and christmassy!

I was so knackered by the time I got home though. Watching dancing takes it out of ya. I am sure I was as exhausted as the performers... of course you were, Sam, keep telling yourself that!

Grr, I am only continuing to type so that I can add the pictures I took at the gig on here now, rather than wait until later, but its only at 88% on my uploader!

So whilst I am waiting, I might as well blabber on. I have finally settled on the new background of my other blog - and.. um.... I am still trying to figure out what to blog about on there. Haha, you would have thought I would have thought of that first, but I guess that's not how my brain works!

Oh, and look. Pictures!

Enjoy the rest of your weekend folks!

Sam

I had such plans for this one...

BUT...

I have totally forgotten what I wanted to blog about.

I was really prepared for it this morning, I had a list of topics in mind that I was going to discuss, none of them depressing, just thoughts and jingles. But of course, work has zapped my creative mind until it is nothing more than grey mush floating in between my ears. Why does this happen??!

I guess I will just do what I usually do, and say what I am thinking. I think it works most of the time. The thinking, and the brain... one is an idiot.. the others insane.. wait, no, that's not right!

I haven't been on here properly for a couple of days, due to me being the most popular and busy person ever. Not. (note: adding 'NOT' to the end of a sentence is now considered cool again, I have been assured by my sister...).

Lets talk facts.

Fact. I went to see Gavin DeGraw at Academy 2 in Manchester on Wednesday night. He was amazing! Great performer, however, we had to queue for quite a while, and it was fr-fr-fr-freezing outside! When we got in, we were pretty close to the stage, which was brilliant. My brother and his friend didn't have tickets, so they were trying to buy them on the street... Of course, being the lucky buggers they are, they met Gavin outside (well, one of them did), and they got in free on the guest list! SCREW THEM. I got a plectrum that was thrown into the crowd, so in their faces! *pictures to follow*

Fact. Yesterday I got my hair did. I had my fringe cut and a trim (trying to grow my hair!), and got my colour done - WOO, no more roots, AND glossy blonde hair. Was it worth over £100 though? I don't know. That's what I am trying to weigh up. You see. I have been in between hairdressers for a while, so thought I would rate this one against the last one I went to. I liked this new place and the people, but it was more expensive. I only had half a head of highlights and a cut from a senior hairdresser, but in the last place I went to I had a full head and the owner cut my hair and it was only £100 (discounted though, because I know the guy)... but I didn't feel as comfortable in the cheaper place as I did in the new place -so what IS the price of comfort???

Fact. I am so tired. This entire week has been strange. My sleeping patterns have been thrown out of whack. I go to bed, but don't really sleep until about 1 or 2 (no matter how hard I try) and when I wake up I feel as though I haven't even been asleep -maybe I am astral projecting instead? (stop watching Charmed, Sam!!) Its awful. I just feel exhausted.

Still, even though I am exhausted, I want to go out tonight. I don't really like big heavy drinking nights, like alot of people my age do. I like them occasionally. But I am a pub girl. Sit in the pub with friends, and drink, play games, maybe a pub quiz. There is a lot to be said for quiet nights. I am loving the hanging out part of friend time at the moment. I always do, but sometimes I feel like being left alone for a while.... Anti social - something I don't want to turn into (my parents are really antisocial and I don't want to inherit THAT!). So I am trying my hardest to go out and be merry and keep relationships intact! Its a hard time. Everyone seems to be drifting here there and everywhere. I will be again next year, off on another adventure, but for now, I need to be anchored to people, as I feel like I am drifting away. Literally, I feel like my body is breaking up into small pieces. I think its the sleeping thing. Its strange... I am sure there is something wrong with me!!!

Last note of the day - I am currently craving Chinese food/ sushi.

I am going to see Edward Scissor hands - the Ballet, tomorrow.. and... I am going to get ready to go out now!

Thanks for sticking this random blog out.. if you have only skimmed, go back and start again, you have missed a really important section about you....

Sam

blogging along

Blogogog!

Greetings, visitors from Earth.

I am at a loss, I really am. You see. I really want to get my new blog off the ground, which will be more of a creative place where I will post some of my diGitAl art, *pictures*, ideas- occasional moments of creativity that I am wanting to express. I don't find I can express myself creativly in my actual life. Its tough. Bottling it up really annoys me.

Not knowing where the new blog will go is one part of my creative outburst. I really don't know yet, what the final result will be, and I am still mulling over the little things - its not going to be a blah blah woof woof blog like this one is, where I basically just rant about my own little life, I might even start showing off some canvas pictures I am going to try and do... but who knows.

Ok, so the real thing I need right now is an idea of what my layout should look like. I have both tried to edit my own, but I am so rusty on HTML etc. that I fear I will not succeed in creating a nice looking template. So I need to know where to look for one, and how the hell you get it to work on the site!!

Nanoo, Nanoo..

There is a strange sound outside. I have a feeling its a ridiculasly HUGE 4x4 car. It sounds more like a tank. Honestly, can't a girl get ANY peace?

Help help help.

Sam

(ah, the beautiful works of Christian Lorenz Scheurer)

What the QWOP?

HUFF!

I feel bad for what I am about to do to you.

But if you haven't heard of QWOP (you might have done, I am a bit behind the times with these things), then take a peek!

Its a truly awful game, that combines pure chance, with total annoyance. Now, sure, there are some people out there who seem to have been able to master this ridiculously inane and insane game, but I can only imagine it has taken them years of practise. It would have been more worth while for them to have trained for the actual Olympics. But again, I have a feeling the kind of person who can do this, is in no way athletic. In. Any. Way. (I am in no way implying that only *geeks* can do this, or that I do not like *geeks* - in fact, I have a very strange love and bond with these such named people).

If you want to have a look at it, go for it. But I beg of you. Try it once, and only once. Never go back to that page. It will only be damaging to your health.

I am gonna leave you with a song I am addicted to at the moment!

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=iNsRqTfWe0k&feature=channel

Enjoy your weekend Kids,

Sam

Night Running

GO!

So, it has come to my attention that a lot of people are partaking in what I like to call NIGHT RUNNING.

I am sure that its not due to the fact that it gets dark at 5pm, and that people are actually doing it on purpose as a new form of exercise. Going out, when its dark, slapping on some reflective gear, and hauling ass down the road!

The stupid thing is. I WANT TO DO IT. I refuse to run outside in the real world. But in the dark? I am definitely all for it. Its like you can run, and be free, and not care who sees because its DARK! I am going to try it, don't try to stop me, don't try to stop me, try to stop me!!! (Hook reference, come on!!)

Speaking of running in the dark. I went to my grandads 80th birthday dinner last night. He made a speech. I wish it had been dark, and I could have run away... it was one of those old people speeches. Where jokes are made that no one gets, and then the innuendos come (no pun intended), and its embarrassing... the only thing that saved the speech was a 90 year old woman who started to heckle. Those OAP's sure know how to put someone down!!!

Moving on, I am glad to say the vegetarian dish was nicer than the meat dish. In everyone's faces!!!! They all looked jealous as I tucked in, and they scraped away at their beef, trying to chew it!

Tomorrow I have a 4 legged race. You know, like a 3 legged race, but with 3 people, thus making it 4... even though there will be 6 REAL legs. I am in the middle. I am scared, and can't sleep at the thought of doing this at work, and falling flat on my face. eek!!

I also can't sleep as I am talking to someone on MSN. Damn MSN. I am its bitch. I know I shouldn't log on when i am going to bed, but I can't help it, and now I am talking to my sisters boyf's brother. He is in his new house. Drunk. And (although I haven't told anyone this, and am not really admitting it to myself, just putting it out there to ponder), I think I like him.

I think. We were at the pub last weekend and I kinda thought I liked him before that, but thought it was because I was a bit lonely, and really want a boyf at the moment . But at the weekend, there was just something there. I THINK. Grrrr. I dunno. There is also another guy I think I like, who I used to work with and became good friends with, and I think I might like him too... but I blame that on my sister, as she is putting those thoughts into my head. She wants us to get married. I am easily swayed it seems. Grrrr again.

I love fun posts, don't you? haha.

EEk, 00:01.

I must go to bed.

Night

Sam

I just want to help...

*Sigh*

Its a horrible feeling, knowing that someone you care about is in pain/ hurting through some form of depression or illness. I know this feeling well.

I am not one to shy away from internet friendships. In fact, I like how you don't have to pretend to be friends with people who you don't really get on with, like IRL. In Real Life you have to see people you don't really like, and be nice to them, and pleasant, when really all you want to do is kick them hard in the shins, gesture wildly at them using however many fingers you want, and stalk off, hopefully insulting them in a way that will make them want to steer clear of you in any near future. (OK, I know some people actually DO do that IRL, but lets face it, they don't have fake friends OR real friends... so.....)

On the internet, you can be friends with who you want to be friends with. You don't like them? Don't email/ IM them. Simple.

I have friends from the internet I have known for years. Even when I took my internet holiday for a year, they were still there upon my return. Same as it always was, plus more heartache, headaches and ballaches. Its nice. I chose them, they chose me, we all live together in harmony.

So, you can imagine my pain when one of them is going through a really hard time, and I can't be there to help. Being in another country sometimes sucks.

Sure, I am not the most sympathetic person. Infact, I will probably blog about those problems another time, but it doens't mean that I don't care. I do. Alot.

I sent this friend an email; asking if she was ok, I knew she had been down, and she had dissappeared from our usual stomping grounds. The email reply? Read like this:

"Not ok"

End of email.

:( I don't know what to do. I know, I can only offer her a supportive ear if she needs to vent. But what good is that really? I feel powerless right now. In truth, I would fly out to see her, and make sure she is ok, but I fear I am even less likely to help in person, than I am in email. I can't mull over words IRL like I do over emails. I tend to say what pops in my head. It never really helps a situation...

Why am I now supporting the internet?? There always has to be a devils damn advocate...

I guess I am just blogging this because I don't feel like I can vent the frustration anywhere else. What does one do, when a friend is in need, but so far away????

I wish I could teleport or something! Come on already, we can (*thinks of some impressive technology that supports argument...*) attempt to recreate the big bang in a "controlled enviroment" - why can't we get to grips with subatomic particle acceleration or something... like how I just made that up? I know it means Jack, but it sounded good, yah!?

Grrr. What happened to light hearted blogs?

Sam

slightly drunken blog

Yup

You will be able to tell from my slurred words, I am sure. Right now, I am hitting the right keys, but I wont be soon.

I just got back from a night out, and i still can't believe what happened.

Yes, I missed the firework show (Or so I thought) again. Like every year. but no, thats not what I can't believe.

I saw a girl I used to go to school with. She is a couple of years younger. In my brothers year. Which makes her about 21.

Her boyfriend was walking after her. Shouting. Here is how it went.

"You slag, come back here"

"Fuck off"

"You fucking slag... what are you looking at"

(that last part was aimed at me).

Anyway.

She ran to a taxi and got in. I was with my sister, her boyf and his brother. We all stood, staring in disbelief.

He dragged her outta the cab and threw her on the floor. twice. she got up and walked off. He grabbed her again, and pushed her against a window.

He slapped her. HARD.

We were all (not just us, about 7 other people), shocked and sickened by his stupid ass ways. Once again, he looked at me and said;

"what are you looking at?"

to which I replied. "um.. You. You just hit your girlfriend".... once again, called a slag, (aka slut) I replied "so in your eyes, thats all women?" (he had called every girl who had walked past this). He carried on yelling, as his girlfriend walked off. He followed, grabbing her and yanking her across the road. My sisters boyf was on the phone to the police at this point.

about 5 of us went after them. Ready to take him on. (I would have got the first punch in, if I had to!), But she started to defend him. I mean it.

SHE DEFENDED HIM!

They eventually got in a taxi and left.

WTF? I am so disappointed in her. I can't actually believe that she would get in a cab with him, when there was about 7-10 people ready to slam him into the ground. FOR. HER. WFT?

Lauren (thats her name...), why would you do that?

Whats wrong with these young girls, that they would sacrifice their own self esteem and happiness for a scally, with a tracksuit on, who hits without cause, and it didnt look like it was the first time? Its so sad and wrong. I kinda feel like saying "Well, screw you, you deserve it". But I know that she doesnt. Noone does. No woman, or man, deserves to get hit by a partner and stick with it. Love? LOVE? I am sorry. If I was in love with someone, the last think I would want to do is hurt them. I wouldn't even consider it. It would pain me to think I could hurt someone I love.

I would never say "do you want me to embarrass you in front of all these people" - and hit someone. ever.

I dread to think of what she, and people like her put up with for the sake of what they call love.

... thats it.

Sam

(not editing this. too tired.... :( )

Hi, my name is Sam, and I am addicted...

Wait.

... Addicted to lipbalm.

I can't help it, and I can't stop. I have to use lipbalm every single day, sometimes only twice, other times, like today, 30 - 50 times. Its a problem, I know. And I brought it on myself, because I know that if I didn't use lipbalm all the time, I probably wouldn't need it. But if I stop now... my lips might fall off. I am sure of it. I can't ever get back to the point of not needed it, because I would have to go without it for too long and I would eventually strangle someone else to get at theirs and then go to jail. Sure, I could have bought more, but what fun is that in this strange and mental fantasy (is this a fantasy?? no. perhaps not...) that I have going on.

Aparently not many other people I know have this addiction. Its in my blood. I know my Auntie is the same, and I remember that throughout my entire childhood, when I saw her, she was always reaching for her Nivea face cream, which she would rub on her lips.

Me and my sisters are the same. It has stayed with the family. We all have our lipbalms. I usually have 2 with me wherever I go. And there are countless others knocking around in my bedroom, the bathroom, and my sisters' rooms. Vaseline, carmex, blistex, Burts Bees, Keihls (can't spell)... the list goes on. Even now, I need it. When I talk about it. When other people talk about it. It makes me want it.

Friends and colleagues, alike, have noticed. They find it amusing. Especially when they mention the word, or use their own, just to see me, unknowingly, subconsciously, reach for my own and lather it on, like my life depended on it. The excess gets rubbed onto the back of my hands (a trait picked up from my older sister). As a result, my hands are amazingly soft.... result.

Drawbacks? Money spent on lipbalms. Thirsy lips. The fear that if I am so addicted to something so unaddictive, then I must surely never try smoking (not that I would want to), or drugs (again, I never wanted to...). As. I. Might. Become. Addicted.

I am also addicted to coffee, but thats not quite so bad, right?

Please put me out of my misery (no, no... put the gun down!!), and tell me that you like lipbalms too...

Sam.

Ps. if anyone feels sorry for me, and has access to Skittles lipbalms. send them my way. I need them. :)

... I do like to spend my time doing stupid things

So...

Rather than going to bed, like I know I should be doing, I am instead, sitting on my bed, with my laptop perched on my... well, lap. Surfing the Internet looking at silly things. My sister is reading the Last book in the instalments of His Dark Materials. I am making her do this, as she started it about a year ago and still hasn't finished. This is a crime. Its a fantastic book, but she doesn't share the same love as books as I do. I get totally wrapped up in a book and live it in my mind whilst I am reading it. I think she sees it more as a chore; to learn a story. Damn the youths of today! wouldn't know a good book if it hit them in the face!

So here it is, whilst I was lecturing her as to WHY i wasn't going to tell her what happens in the book - whether the ghosts would turn into angels, if Will had almost broke the knife again - the question arose in MY mind. What would my Daemon be?

Hers, almost fittingly, would be a chimpanzee. She didn't appreciate that. But what can I do? Its not like anyone can chose the form their Daemon takes in the end anyway!

I think I got the better deal.
(try out the quiz here)

My Daemon would be a jackal called Boreallas. I am thuper thtoked that this is what I got, because, lets face it, the only thing worse than getting a monkey/ ape as a daemon, is getting a fish.

I stand victorious in the fact that in this fake little world Phillip Pullman has created, I am still uber cool. Even if its only in my own eyes!

I love all these stupid quizzes. If anyone finds any cool ones, let me know, especially if they have something to do with a movie.

Take care of your daemons,

Sam

This is not a test...

Look!

I thought I would pop a couple of my halloween pictures up on here, as I kept going on and on about my black contact lenses etc. Not sure if these pictures really do it justice. But these were both taken after I took a swig of my fake blood. This will be apparent in a few moments.

Now, I just have to figure out how to do this...




That is my lovely friend, who didn't mind being my victim for a while. Well, she was dressed as Little Red Riding Hood, so she can hardly complain!

Enjoy,

Sam

Its new, and its for you

Hello,

I was feeling like I needed an outlet. A place to put some random thoughts and feelings that weren't really appropriate for this blog. Where I just rant about me! So I made a new one.

http://shewrotethisforyou.blogspot.com/

Is where I did this.

Its not really for anyones enjoyment, rather, its a place I have given my mind to wander on its lonely, somewhat restless path. Its almost 100% fictional in that its not actually happening. But the basics of it is that its a girl, writing to the person she loves most in the world. Snippets of thoughts and feelings she wants to share with him in hopes that he will read it. Like a diary, or a series of letters.

I felt like I needed the outlet - so there it is. I don't know how often I will blog from there, but this place is all about sharing, and so consider it shared.

Night night!

Sam

MeMe's and the likes...

Yo!

So, I come on here, checking blogs, and all around me (not literally, but on the screen), I see these things called 'memes'. You know, like those chain mail emails you get, where you have to answer questions about yourself, or open a page of the book you are reading and post a snippet of it to tease your readers... Most people hate these things. I don't. Well, I do, but I don't. I love reading other peoples answers, and I love answering them myself, but I know my friends hate me for the email ones. It seems like the need to share useless information went out of fashion when exposing yourself for money (*coughcough* can we say hello to the Big Brother culture sitting in the corner with the dunce hat on?) came into fashion. It was one or the other, we can't have both. I think I am going to choose memes instead... I hope you understand and respect my decision?

I am just going to mindlessly blog, as I am not thinking too straight today. Just woke up (about 2 hours ago.. still in PJ's. Its Sunday, so sue me!!). I went out last night for my sisters birthday and decided I wasn't going to drink much. Just a couple. Nothing too big and fancy. Well, being in a Vodka bar doens't help, neither does the fact that the first 2 drinks I had were off the tray of shots I bought, which I swiftly followed down with a pitcher of Cherry Springer (vodka cocktail that tastes of Cherry coke.. mmmm). I drank this straight from the jug, with a straw. Classy. I think people would have understood more if they had seen me try to pour the damn thing into a glass. Someone has to invent an easier pouring device. really. they do. I can't pour for toffee!!

*Side note* Not sure if this will work every time, but me and my friend picked a random guy walking past, pointed at him and motioned the "You're OUTTA here" action a la baseball games. You know what I mean. Take a second to picture his reaction. stunned. laugh. say "that was a bit harsh.... can I buy you a drink?" Now, I don't know if we stumbled onto something big here. But this honestly would have gotten us a free drink if we had trusted him to not put a roofie in the mix. I am going to try this again soon and see what happens. I will keep you posted on my findings.

I have just learnt this about myself (fingers crossed this link works)

http://www.oneplusyou.com/bb/zombie?score=50

I have been told that I would have a 50% chance of surviving a zombie attack. I can't handle that. 50%??? 50? good lord. I would have liked either 60% or anything below 50. But FIFTY?

You may be wondering 2 things right about now.

A) why am I still reading this tripe?

2) whats so bad with 50%?

well, to answer the first point. I DON'T KNOW.

To answer the second. 50 just seems like too much pressure. If I was only a 40 percenter then I would at least know that I would be useless, and accept that I would die quite quickly. 60 percenter would mean I could fight it out, knowing I would more than likely continue in my non brain eating ways. but 50 is more like... teetering on the edge of a blade. Not knowing which way the wind is going to blow to knock me on my ass. You know? too much pressure to perform, and too much doubt to actually pull it off. These are the things one has to think about these days.

Right, just one more thing to talk about.. ok, make it two, and then I will go and get dressed!

One.

Halloween. It was so fun. I was all vamped up, with black contact lenses and such. my 2 friends that came out with me, who I pestered to make sure they dressed up, hated me because I didn't have a costume on, just the makeup. But then, why would i dress up, when I was being a vampire - vampires don't have costumes, they just have clothes! right?!!! I will try to get a picture up on here with my black contacts and blood on my face. it was a good look!!

Two.

I finished the Twilight series yesterday morning, in my hungover state. I was trying to read Breaking Dawn really slowly, because I didn't want it to end. I was expecting a horrible ending, and was prepared to have to throw the book in the bin, and pretend like it never happened. But I didn't. Because it ended brilliantly. How I hoped it would, but didn't want to invest too much hope INTO because I didn't think an author would be that nice to her readers. Loved it. Love Stephanie Meyer. I want to be in the Movie,but I know its too late, so I am thinking, get acting lessons, an agent, and get drunk, and try to get into the next movie somehow. Haha. Note to self, the last Harry Potter is also on my list of movies to try to get into!!! I like to set myself stupid goals in life!

Ok kiddies. Happy 2nd of November.

Sam