Thursday, 16 October 2008

I'll take Everything...

Mmmhhhhhmmmm.
I have a James Blunt song in my head. I love it. Haha.
Anyway, this is only going to be a quick blog, as I have to dry my hair before I go to bed... I hate drying my hair, it takes forever and a day. (such comments can not be taken as literal).
I have been thinking (whilst I was in the shower). After a comment from http://www.blogger.com/profile/10919785602905198976 Gee on my last blog, that I will join a photography society. I know there is one near to me. I just know that it will be full of strange people. And I hate doing things on my own. But OK. Enough is enough. And I have to do this. So it must be done, and I will.
I have been into 'The City' tonight. After work. I am so tired now. But I finally bought Battlestar Galactica (sp?) season 2 on DVD. I love it. Well, I loved the first season, but never got around to seeing the other ones, so I am starting from the beginning. Its amazing. I love DVD's. A healthy obsession if ever there was one. I am always talking about obsessions these days. At least mine are all safe though. For my health, if not everyone elses.
I have just been browsing my Youtube page today (http://uk.youtube.com/user/ScumbagSam) although I don't make vids (yet), I watch alot of it. Its better than real TV!!! and I found the below video. Its great. I love this sh!t. Adam Buxton is a genius. Check it out.
A lot of links in this one. Sorry!
I think thats all I wanted to say... hmmm. I got some GREAT fake eyelashes (will have to post pictures when I wear them), and I am planning on getting black contact lenses for halloween. If anyone wears contacts, or has cool coloured ones, let me know how much of a pain they are to wear so I can be prepared! haha.
Sam
Ps. Halloween costumes. What to be???

Tuesday, 14 October 2008

Music

La.
I am so addicted to listening to music at the moment. All kinds. I just can't get enough. I often go through phases where I just want to listen to it forever. And then I have to stop because I start to ruin it for myself. I am one of those people who will listen to a song over and over again until I can't listen to it anymore. And I hate it, so I try to stop myself from doing it, but my siblings are exactly the same, so its damn annoying. Especially since it seems none of them have any control over the particularly annoying trait. I remember I once bought an album and couldn't listen to it for MONTHS because my sisters had played it over and over before I had a chance to listen to it. Ruined. I still blame them for ruining the CD for me!
At this moment in time I have just discovered American Pianist Jim Brickman. I have never come across him before, but he seems to be the musical version of Josh Groban... just without the singing. Its gorgeous music, that actually makes me want to shed tears most of the time. I wish I could play the piano, but even if I started to learn now, I doubt I would ever get as good to be able to play anything like him. I hate that I never learnt piano as a child. Although I am sure that if someone had said to me 'Learn the Piano', I would have made a face and stomped off. I wasn't into learning ANYTHING when I was a kid, and now I regret it so much. I wish I knew everything. I just want to learn things but my stupid adult brain, mixed with my ADHD brain doesn't help that much. In fact. Not at all. I get so distracted. SO easily.
Whilst I am going on and on about getting distracted I might as well venture on to the subject of work. I hate it. I know. Everyone hates work. I do. I didn't hate it a while ago, but it seems its just getting to me now - I feel like i am being dragged into this career I didn't chose, I just needed some cash. And they keep throwing more of it my way which is supposed to be incentive to stay, and it is, but its also giving me incentive to leave - its like a bribery on my future.
I was talking to a friend via email at work (He hates it there too... we are doomed!), and I realised that I was wasting whatever potential I have as a.. anything.. writer, musician, photographer.. anything like that.
I am not company minded. I am a creator. I am an artist. I am an imagination waiting to imagine something or waiting to be allowed to imagine something. I don't know what, but I need help finding out. I don't know how to chose a direction. Photography is my love. But how to get into it? How to start? Its a competitive game and I don't think I have the balls or the talent to play.
Life. Confuses. Me.
Sam

Saturday, 11 October 2008

Writing for dumb dumbs.

*SIGH*
I am sleepy and I have done nothing all day. I am in such a writing mood at the moment.. and reading. I started New Moon last night... have almost finished it, so I had to stop reading it this morning and have been twiddling my thumbs procrastinating so I can make the book last longer! Basically, I have just listened to music all day and played on my guitar until my fingers hurt! :) Fun.
But as I AM in the mood to write, I was looking at some of my old stuff, which i kept (I don't usually keep a lot of things I write). But this one I did keep I quite like, as I woke up in the middle of the night a while ago and had to write my thoughts down. I don't know where it came from and I am sure its not good in any literary sense - but I kinda wanted to just put it out there anyway! so here it is... The War.

The moon smiled at me tonight,
and one of its star like eyes winked at me solemly,
as if knowingly,
memories of my dream-like state fully intact in their own memories,
unlike mine, which ebb away like the tide,
the tide controlled by the moon,
is it stealing me away,
my thoughts?
As I try to cling to these lives I have lived,
the lives that lasted a lifetime,
but in the eyes of the stars just mere seconds,
I recall the feelings, and I develop them,
like old pictures, faded and smiling, out of frames.
Smiling like the moon.
I fear I may never feel those feelings again,
and as the stars and the moon and the sky suck at them with their vastness,
I cry.
Am I fated to be like those before?
The dreams that lasted forever, but were gone in one instance,
only to be forgotten by me when the next one took its place,
the next night.
The new dream.
The old feelings, here, but more.
Are they more? Or the same? Either way, even I forgot what I tried to remember,
but the war rages on,
Me and the Moon, and the stars.
The war goes on,
like my dreams.

Friday, 10 October 2008

Parisian Skies

Salut!
Well, I am officially back from Paris. Having just had a shower and unpacked etc. I am in the process of trying to sort out my pictures so that I can put them up here to show the world what I saw.
Basically, I thought Paris was brilliant! I have never wanted to go up until a few months ago when I realised I was so close to it, I might as well see what the fuss is about.... I will try to sum up what I saw (if I can remember, it all seems a lifetime ago now), and where I went...
I flew over from London (and I hate flying), to be greeted by a foreign airport, and a need to get onto a bus and find my hotel. Now, consider this. I woke up at 2am to get to the airport for 4, flight at 6, arrived in Paris at around 7, made it to the hotel at about 10ish (all in the AM), checked in, went for a wander and didn't actually go back to the hotel until... I think it was about 7 or 8 PM. Long day. especially when during that day we (me and my friend), went to wander around La Chapell and Notre dame (sorry if I spell these things wrong by the way... :P) .
Time sure does go by fast though, and I really loved it all. We climbed to the top of Notre Dame and saw all the views and the gargoyles etc. which was beautiful. We also wandered through the chapel and saw a hell of a lot of amazing architecture and stained glass windows. Although, I have to say, the architecture really was stunning. The detail in it all is just... indescribable. I hope some of the pictures do it justice - but please note that I was working on a no flash basis, and standing still is not my best talent. I am quite famous for it actually.
Lets see, what else? Oh yes, the 2nd day, which was Tuesday, was wonderful too. Me and my friend went to the Palace De Versailles and wandered around, looking at both the architecture, the old rooms, the hideous pop art that is being exhibited there at the moment by Jeff Koons - an idiotic artist who thinks putting eyesores in the middle of a palace would be good fun... humph.
We also strolled through the gardens. May I just take a moment to point out just HOW big of a place this palace is... we walked all day, and didn't even see the whole of the grounds... seriously! It was amazing!
On to the third day, Wednesday. Typically, as most women do, we went shopping. Now, I know that shopping in Paris is legendary, but I can honestly say that unless you are made of money and have the frame and build of an elegant french lady, you are screwed. All the shops we found were pretty useless when it came to clothes. In fact, I think I built it up too much. There was no more choice than there would have been here in the UK. I didn't get my winter coat. I got earrings and a beautiful bracelet from this little boutique which was run by a woman who used to be a stylist for designers like Chanel etc. She was the nicest person ever. So cute and quirky! The shop was called Loola and I would recommend it if you are thinking about going to Paris - she usually only sells in wholesale, but will sell retail if you go in and ask! ;)
Another great place to go if you love all things book like, and legendary is the Shakespeare and Company Book shop. There is a main book store next to their antique book store and its worth its weight in gold. I had to stop myself from buying anything, as I promised myself I wouldn't get any more books no matter what, after a spending spree online before I went away, but this place... you could spend days just rummaging through the stacks, finding little gems. The poetry section is second to none, as is the fiction section. There is all sorts to look at, its just knowing where to start that is a bit daunting, but its great! Honestly, go!!!
Concluding this day was a trip to the Louvre at night to see it all lit up, and we wandered around inside looking at the paintings and sculptures. We saw the Mona Lisa (overrated), but I was more interested in the painting on the wall to the side of it... I hate following the crowd! haha.
It was a beautifully constructed building though. Even if the art wasn't there, the architecture was stunning - full of curving archways and domes with murals painted every-which-way you looked. I spent more time looking at the ceilings than anything else!!!
Moving on from the Louvre was the trip to the Eiffel Tower, which again, was nicely lit up at night. All blue and sparkly. I am terrified of heights, but I went up the lift (eek) - closing my eyes on the way up so I didn't have to see the ground going bye-bye below me! But at the top it was beautiful. However, I think the tops of buildings is losing its awe for me. I have been to the tops of so many that they all start to look the same. Lights all look identical from way up high - not that I wouldn't want to look down at a city, but, I don't know. I am a bit desensitised to the excitement of it all now. :( its like when you wake up on Christmas day and realise you don't actually care if the reindeer ate the carrots you left them the night before... the magic is gone! But still, it was pretty nonetheless, and I tried to take photos and staying still was hard, as it was windy, but I got at least 1 staying still one before I just started to love the camera on purpose so that I could get the light trails!
Leaving the tower past midnight, after dinner, me and my friend headed back to the hotel and slept for a bit. Thursday was our last day, and I woke up with a killer cold, that I thought I had fought off well, but turns out I didn't... :( rubbish!
We packed and checked out, and went for a wander around the hotel area before heading to the airport - of course we stumbled onto some amazing shopping streets and restaurants. Why does that always happen on the last day??!! I finally bought something for my winter wardrobe though! It was a scarf with a hood! Genius invention. I love it so much!!
Flying back was OK, although my ears were pretty much done in on account of the pressure of my cold and the plane, and after meeting up for dinner with friends, me and my pal went back to the place we were staying and crashed! Today we travelled back from London - it took us.. oh... about 4 hours to get home. Trains can be so slow! I then had to limp from the station back to my house and my poor feet decided it was the end of the line!
Oh my feet. How I got through Paris at all is questionable. We had gone salsa dancing in London on the Saturday before we left, and I stupidly wore heels. My feet were blistered to hell before I even got to France! Still. It was an amazing trip, and I learnt a couple of things.
1. you don't go dancing before a city break.
2. Being able to say even a few words in French will get you quite far. Even if its just Bonjour, Merci, Pardon, Parle Vous English? and of course, the ever helpful Oui!
OK folks, I am going to post this, and attempt to get the link for pictures below before I head to sleepyville, population; ME.
Sorry this was so long, but thanks for sticking with it if you did read it!
Au'revoire.
Sam
EDIT: Here are some of my blurry pictures!! :)

Bonjour!!

OUI!
I am back from Paris, with a slight limp and a madenning headache, but all is well!
I am going to write an actual blog about it all as soon as I have showered and got my bearings, and sorted out my pictures to post up here, so for now, you can sit tight and hope that the next blog will be partially interesting in some way!
Merci,
Sam

Friday, 3 October 2008

FRIDAAAY!

Humph!
Is it just me, or has this week gone really fast?! Its mental, but alas, I am not complaining, as I am off to Paris on Monday, after my short stay in London for some Salsa dancing and cocktails with some folk! I am hoping that my insane fear of heights won't stop me from reaching the top of the Eiffel Tower... I am sure it won't.. I hope it won't... eek!
Still, Going to Paris is helping me complete a life goal. And I don't just mean a personal life goal, because I don't really have any of those at the moment. Note to self - set yourself some targets girl!!
Paris in general, is one of the places everyone says you 'must see before you die' - so I guess I am fulfilling what everyone is told to do. Its so stupid, if you have ever read one of those Top Places to do before you die books. It lists just about everywhere that it can think of, and so is telling the general masses to travel around the world over and over again until you have set foot on every continent, in every city, walked down every beach and seen every canyon. Psh! I am sure not everyone wants to do that, and the people that do are so busy with regular day to day stuff, like trying to live in this credit crunch world that they don't have time to do it and can't afford it! I don't know why I am ranting about that, but whilst I am talking about it...
WHAT IS THE VALUE OF MONEY!?!
The value of money used to be simple. Each country had a certain amount of money based on their gold reserves... how much shiny stuff was in the ground. But now, its not so much, since its the loaning culture these days, people spend what they dont have, borrow; pay it back when they have borrowed more from somewhere else, and so I ask. In all of this confusion... what is the actual value of money these days? nothing. squat. zip.
The country is in debt. Is it? I wouldnt know, as I have never borrowed money - but apparently I must be in debt because the UK has no money and banks are falling under. I am so confused. I don't understand the current culture, or this civilisation. I just don't. MONEY MONEY MONEY. We might as well all just start printing our own, its got as much worth and value as regular money anyway I bet. again, this is nothing.
Honestly, I am at a loss with every country at the moment - wars, money, drugs and knife crime. Why don't people just get on with what they want to do? A perfect world.
A girl can dream...
Pictures of Paris coming soon.
Sam

Thursday, 2 October 2008

Trying not to think about it!!

UHOH!
I am kind of freaking out right now. I while ago I started writing a book or sorts, and got a good few chapters into it, I liked it, and knew exactly where it was heading, it was just a case of writing it all down in an interesting fashion... of course now... I CAN'T FIND IT! I have the first opening I wrote for it.. the background to the story, but I don't have any of the character introductions... I can't find the story anywhere and I am getting scared!!! I can't just rewrite it, as I don't think I could fully remember what I had done... It was stupid of me not to back it up, I know, and I never learn, but AHHHHH!!!!! I was really in the mood to write some more today as well. Its ridiculas.
But I never learn. I keep saying I am going to start backing things up, as I have a hell of a lot of things on my laptop that I would hate to lose. Crap Crap Crap!
If anyone sees a half written story lying around, please tell me, and I will retrieve it... Grrrr. I can't lose it.
I know I am ranting, but there is no one here to tell, so I thought I would just explode here! eek!
Right, I am going to hunt for it some more...
I could cry!!!
Sam
HAHAHAHAHAHAH -2 second later Edit.... I just found it... a couple of pages down from where I thought I had lost it... I am such a doofus, and laughing so much at myself now!!!! PHEW! But still, lesson learnt. BACKUP!!!

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