Its beginning to look a lot like Christmas

Well..

Its not, but today I had that Christmas-y feel. I can't be the only one who gets that... its like, a feeling... that's specific to a certain time of year. I guess I felt goodwill to all man or something. Except I didn't, because I was at work at the time, getting trained on something... voluntarily. Yes, I said it! I volunteered to be trained on this subject. Wowzer. Maybe that's what brought this feeling on.. maybe I am more bookish in the winter months..? It could be true. Just yesterday I looked outside and saw it was raining, and so I thought to myself "Sam (Yes, I speak to myself like I am not myself), Sam (I said), Maybe its time you started that new Stephen King book you bought the other day, you know, the one you bought even though you said you weren't going to buy anymore books until you have read every last one of the ones you bought previous to this internal discussion...?"

Of course, I chose to ignore myself, because at the end of it all, I didn't feel like reading at all (trust my internal dialogue person to butt into my music listening, email writing time!!). But that must be it! When the weather isn't so savory, I want to bury my head in knowledge. Perhaps knowledge is the kindle to the souls fire, and if the soul is warm, so is the body? Yeah. A load of old crap. But hey! They pay me to make this stuff up on the spot.

Ok ok. So I don't get paid... damn it. I should get paid, right?!

Listening to music is once again my main focus in life. But I am in the age old spot of what to listen to. I was shown this music programme the other day and I haven't looked back. But as it turns out, the blessing is also a curse. Too much choice isn't always good for you. Especially when you don't actually KNOW what you want to listen to. Bring back Internet radios, that fine tune your listening and suggest artists you might like... what? They are still out there? Phew! Ok! I will still keep good old Jango in my favorite toolbar!

I was given a postcard of an artist yesterday by a friend, Just Lianne, and honestly, this guy is a great artist. Just check out his site. I love finding cool little arty things through other people - so thanks, Li-Li, for ripping the post card out of the book for me, and wrecking the perfectly kept cards - I will treasure it forever! Sadly, I can't find the one I have in postcard form on the website, but hit the link for James Jean and be away with yea!

Sorry for all the links. I am just in a linking mood right now! HA!

Life has been super mad-hectic recently. I don't even know why, but I have been busy pretty much every night of the week for the past couple of weeks. Which A. isn't like me, and 2. Isn't like, me. (you have to imagine me saying the last point with an American twang, like, totally...)

I am such a lazy bugger, I love staying in 60% of the time, and then thinking about going out 40% of the time. But I haven't had a choice. I have been trying to squeeze seeing friends into the week, as well as squeezing in seeing the B'f. I ain't complaining, because I do actually like the fact that I have stuff to do, but please... just a few days off? I really need a holiday. I dream of fiji... *sigh*, although I don't want to go back to Fiji.. its Aaaages away. I need a break from work etc. I really need to go back to America for a while, and I really want to hit the Cannucks side of things at some point too! Anyway, what was I saying? Oh yeah. Busy, busy, busy. But its all good.

I have been putting make up skills into practise - already have 1 wedding under my belt, and I have another one on Saturday, only thing is, its not just a show up, throw some make up at some faces, and go and get in the bath... no... alas, this is a friends wedding! So, I have to be up and out for 9 and then that's me out for the rest of the night. no rest for the wicked it seems. I have to take all my own stuff and get ready on the road (not literally outside, on the road.. can you say Brrrr?). I like home comforts when I am getting ready. But I guess i can make do. It wouldn't be so bad if my car was available, but my brother basically killed it. I would be madder, but I am just glad my brother is OK, so I can't be 'mad' mad about it, but it does put a slight damper on the whole freedom thing. I have to get lifts everywhere.. this wedding being one of them, and yes. I have already been through the ordeal of having to get a new outfit for the wedding. Today, Actually.

I hate shopping with a firey passion. Not because i hate clothes, but because nothing looks good on me. Ever. I just hate putting clothes on and feeling crap, and that's what shopping is for me. But in the end of a painful 2 hours shop, I got a canary yellow dress (which will be re-used for any other wedding I may attend, if I make it through this one alive), with some cute little black shoes, with purple on them (yellow and purple.. its ALL the rage!). I guess its not so bad. I can afford to spend however much I spent - luxury of living at home, although I have decided just recently that I COULD live without such luxuries - and plan to go through all my expenses and see how much goes out each month, and on what... I might have to cancel some subscriptions (the charity can go, but I am keeping my cinema pass) - and now I have a new car on the way, I have to see what that will set me back, but the final decision of the past week has been that I need to move out. And find a job I actually like.

The joys of being at the decision stage of my life. Luckily I have a good support system with my friends, and my new (ish.. is he still new? I don't know anymore), fella. Still, I will miss my Just Lianne - Just keep in touch, and let me know when you have a new place. I am SO coming to see you!

And that's all she wrote!

Sam

On a P.S note - I saw Harry Potter the other day... it was OK - except the lack of actual story and the sexual innuendos..... trust me, that wasn't a spoiler.

Its time like these.

Yep.

I was walking home today and realised all my relationships are good at the moment. It was quite satisfying. Which is cool.

I am tired. But I don't really mind today. Its Sunday, which is the best day to be tired.

It's been one of those weeks, where everything has been kind of stressed, and fast paced, but really good at the same time because I felt like I have achieved something this week. I got a couple of new Cd's the other day. Dolly Partons new (ish) album 'Backwoods Barbie' (surprisingly very good!), and Prince 'Purple Rain'. I love bargain bins, they just add to a good shopping trip.

Things with Le Buff are good. I think I was nice and let him see me every day this week bar Monday and today.... I am trying to be sweet to him. Hehe. We kind of had one of those weeks where we had a heart to heart and now feel a little bit closer. Which is nice. I like talking to people and feeling like something was gained from the conversation. I don't think it happens enough when you talk to people. Its usually just for entertainment value that I have conversations - you know, its the friendship thing where you just talk and it doesn't mean much, but it does... but this week I have been having real conversations. Its strange that I know when these 'real' conversations occur. Surely one should have these all the time, but I guess that's not really true. Huh...

I love all of my friends at the moment. I had a realisation that all my friends are here right now, almost. And if not here, then some where out there, but contactable. Which doesn't always happen as people drift in and out of the social network of life sometimes, but right now I feel everyone is in reach, and I pray I don't let that slip for a while, because I like knowing that there are people out there whom I can connect with and hang out with and talk to and stuff, and its easy, and not a chore. Yeay for friendships!

I just had coffee and hung out with an old friend and it was fun - we are going to be doing a new project which is basically for our creative sides. She is a writer and me a photographer, so we are going to try to incorporate that into a new blog - the link will probably follow once we get it sorted out. But I am well and truly excited about the prospect of creating something. I haven't felt like that in a while. More.... frustrated at my lack of enthusiasm and inspiration. But this will be good. And force me to take more picture. Which I HAVE to find time to do. Its vital I do it, for my mental health... I am trying to buy a new camera from someone at work at the moment. I say 'trying'. We have an intranet at work with a buy and sell notice board, so someone puts what they are selling on it, and its up to you to email them to say you want it. I am pretty sure I was the first person to email him about it, so I hope i get it. I ain't even haggling on the price. No sir. I am full pricing it up. Fingers crossed I get it, because its the joy of a new camera that's keeping my spirits up at the moment. My other camera is amazing, but its bigger than your average camera so not good to carry around for long periods of time. This new one is slightly smaller, and will hopefully mean I can take it around with me and be snap happy without feeling like the self conscious photog.

I am also going to try to contribute to my friends project. A book about good things. So a list of the good things in life. I am trying to conduct one now, which reminded me of a project I was gonna do, which was to make all my friends draw a picture.. a self portrait or a picture of something they like, or something that describes their personality and put it in a book. Or write a poem or something... I like the idea of collaborations. So I might set something up for that. I hope. But knowing me I will forget! Curses!

Planning to be very busy this week. But I need to start going to bed earlier. 3 am every morning this weekend is not good for you. I can tell you that for free. Sleep more. Yessssss.

Sam

Ouch!

Oof!

Talk about over reaction.

I have just been on Twitter. I still don't condone the use of Twitter as a means of following "celebrities". In fact. the whole things still puzzles me. I like to see what my friends updates are. I mean, I like it when my friends text me random updates, so reading them online also has its comical uses. But I don't want to know what Ashton Kutcher is doing, or Demi Moore, or Pete Wenz, or Ryan Seacrest.... um... why would I want to know? Why? See, its all so mental. Although, if you look on my twittering page, you will see I do follow some celebrities, and some YouTube people... But that's purely for little comical references which I can later bring up in conversations with the cool 'hip' kids at work. For instance:

"Oh my God... Did you SEE what Lily Allen tweeted last night?"

Point of fact. I don't and will never follow her. That was just a random example.

I guess there are highlights to the world of twittering, twitting, and twirping.

Another one I am glad to follow, just for cool references is FragDolls - which is a twitter for gamer girls. I don't know if I would class myself as a 'gamer girl' for sure. But I do play World of Warcraft every now and then, so I feel a kinship towards the type.

This little nugget was acquired just earlier.

So thanks to Twitter, I have found this. A young boy, 'freaking out' because his mom took away his World of Warcraft account....

And now. Thanks to YouTube I have had a spat with a little dipshhh.... um, another YouTuber. Apparently, and I quote:

"wtf this is not fake he is a fucking gamer and adicted u can tell ur not a gamer"

Ouch. Harsh. Wait.. What? I bless the Internet for bringing such joys to my life, and curse it for letting annoying kids play with the Internet. Plus, there is an annoying none usage of grammar in everything I read these days. I can't be the only person who thinks that the English language is falling into the abyss that is the Internet, can I? Sure, I make up my own sentences, and put words in orders that other people wouldn't (exhibit A)... but I try to spell, and that counts for something if you ask me!

To conclude on this point. I hate the Internet, and I love it. But more than that, I am insanely annoyed that this little brat of a boy spelt about 3 things wrongly, and didn't use ANY punctuation/ grammar. Say it with me. "Summer school".

To veer totally off track now. I went to the IMax cinema in Manchester for the very first time. I didn't think I would be impressed. They say its 8 stories tall. I scoffed. But man, is it big. And when the action started I was pretty much mesmerised. I can imagine that seeing one of those documentary type films on it would be cool. Seeing Transformers on it was intense, and sensory overload, but lets face it, robots are cool and everyone knows it. WOO!

I am ScumBagSam.

I am here.

I am blogging.

One more time

Mmm.

We don't stop.

Guess what? Guess what? I am the worst time keeper in the world. And I can't manage time either. So I can't manage it and i can't keep it - I guess the only thing to do is let it go and if it loves me it will come back...? Is that the rule? I am officially letting time go.

Its been over 2 months since I blogged, and to be honest, its because I couldn't be bothered to blog. I lost the love of it. I wanted to write, but I felt what I was writing was, well, dull. And of no importance to anyone but myself. Blogging is a selfish thing isn't it? But on a whole I do try to entertain. I think I lost the sparkle of it all along the way. Sad. I know.

But I'm back. Nothing extremely exciting has happened. Um... lets see, since April I think... Well, I have been working. No change there. Got together with a guy. Who is now officially the boyfriend, but me and my work colleagues have titled him B'f (pronounced buff, as if you didn't know!). Yes, its been fun. It was also my birthday on the 1st June. Which was good, and pleasant and all the things birthdays should be.

Friends, gifts, hugs, kisses and people forgetting, and then remembering and feeling bad about forgetting. As per then.

The only thing that has changed really is my room is a mess (wait.. I said change... that's not a change Sam!). I have a new musical instrument. A ukulele. Woo! And more DVDs. Which is good. I am also suffering from a cold. A bad, bad cold.

I was getting it last week (not swine flu, stop panicking. Stop it, I can see it in your eyes. Don't worry!), but decided that I couldn't have it then because I had a shit mad busy week and an even busier weekend at York races for a Hen Do. (a classy one, mind). So yeah, my body listened to me. it hit me hard yesterday and even worse today. Cut to scene: Sam sitting at her lap top in her PJ's. Obviously not been to work today....

I am hoping that me 'resting' today means tomorrow I will be better, because I have a date with a boy which must involve kissing (it must, no 2 ways about it), and on Saturday I have to be in top form for seeing Transformers at the IMax in Manchester. So. I have given myself today to catch up on rest and all my Internet obligations. Which made me sad.

I love Internet obligations. To tweet or not to tweet. Sadly, more often than not I don't. Because when i use the Internet its just to email the Bf and that's pretty much it (one track minded girl now... erm... not). But I have realised I have to make time. So one day a week I will blog. I will. I must. But when? God knows. Again, whats with time. Where does it go? I always complain about time, but I seriously can't fathom a way to use it to my advantage. Ah well. Never mind, eh?

I will probably go now. Go and sit and take more tablets and hope that this is it for the cold. Ooh, an invite to the cinema.. should I? I would feel bad to go when I couldn't go to work... but... but.... I want to go. Damn it. I will have to ponder this for a while. Anyway. Its good to be back, and I hope at least one person other than me reads this.

I will return in a few days to update on the Transformers movie. Its important you all know what I think of that whore Megan Fox. hehe.

Sam

Oh the times they are a changing

Woosh.

What a busy few weeks. I can't really remember where I left this, but once again I failed miserably to blog anything. I have been rushing around like mad of late, and its definitely wearing me down. A few updates are probably needed.

Make up course - its going well, its uber fun but tiring. I don't know what I will do when it finishes, because it will be up to me to pursue it as a career if I want to, which is a scary concept. I don't know, I am still in two minds, because I want to do it, a lot, and I want to get into film or TV, but its hard work and I am bad when it comes to getting into something that's hard work. I want to do it, but I need someone to shove me into it. We got our assignment on Saturday, and its a right old bastard of an assignment. I don't know what the hell I am supposed to do, but I am hoping mine comes out OK. I have taken to being the master photographer for the girls on the most, because I have the most expensive and best camera. Ha ha, like I need an excuse to take pictures. Its been a fun time, getting people to pose in their makeup etc. And emailing them to everyone. The creative monster in me likes to get out every now and then. I will try to put a picture or two up here now they are on my laptop. Here to hoping no one minds their face being plastered on the Internet... Eekers.

I have been a little under the weather over the past...oh, I don't know... 3 weeks. Feeling exhausted and sick all the time, having no appetite and having shakes. Like I'm cold, when I'm not. I finally had to go to the doctors today and get felt.. I mean, checked. Blood tests came next. I have never had my blood taken, so I was left in the waiting room for about 40 mins stewing in fear and hypochondria. Everything that could be wrong with me going through my head. It might be gall stones. Hmmm. I won't google it, because I am sure I will be scared and I KNOW it involves an operation. Ah! No. Not for me, I don't think I will have that. I also have to do a pee pee sample. They have given me the tiniest container. I have no clue how I am going to aim into it. As gross as that sounds.. aiming into something is not my idea of fun. I have yet to find out how i manage on that front.

The latest hot gossip is that I had a first date with a guy yesterday. My sisters boyfriends brother to be exact... which, I know, sounds weird.. but as we discussed yesterday, it happened in Twins (the movie), so I guess its OK. Right? I know.. weird. Oh well. He is really nice though, and sweet and funny, which is good. Its all a bit new right now obviously, but he seems really 'into' me.. which doesn't happen... ever, so I am a bit taken aback by it all. I am useless with emotional stuff, dead inside some say, so its really hard for me to be like that with him.. I don't know, I'm trying to be nice but it doesn't come easily. Plus its hard spending time with someone when you feel sick all the time. Oops. haha.

I have been going to the movies a lot. Knowing - hmmmm... don't miss it, but don't expect it to be the best film. I really want people to see it, so they can be as disappointed in it as I am. that's mean, I know, but who cares? Haha. Marley and Me was OK.... I can't think of much else I have seen now. I just can't keep all these memories in my head, which goes to show that I need to blog more.

Right now I am looking forward to the weekend. I have cinema trips planned, a games night (Risk and Mario Kart) and date number 2, along with Easter - meaning I might eat some chocolate and get to drink my beloved Lucozade drink again. As I gave it up for Lent. And I'm also going shopping. All this on top of finding out my blood work results on Wednesday. Lord, give me strength. I know I shouldn't, but I am preparing for bad news. I have had a good run.. almost 24 years without having to go to hospital. I knew I couldn't be this lucky.

Sam

X

Just have time..

So...

I just have time to post a quick blog. My useless blogging of late has left me feeling a bit annoyed with myself, because I like ranting to myself... and when I don't blog I just speak all the stupid thoughts I have in my head out loud, and then people look at me funnily. Oh well, if they aren't used to it by now, then screw them! Yeah, I said it!

I have watched a few really good films of late. A couple at the cinema; which, thanks to my new shiny Unlimited pass, means I no longer spend £7 per showing- and a couple of DVD's.

Cinema excursions of late have included heart wrenching factual based dramas like Confessions of a Shopaholic, and straight to the point documentaries like The Curious Case of Forrest Gump... I mean, Benjamin Button. How could I get those 2 mixed up? What a foolish mistake!

Please note the sarcasm... please.

Of course, DVD's are just as entertaining. There is sometimes nothing better than sitting in and watching something you have never seen before. The other day I watched Rain Man. I have no clue how I hadn't seen it before. I mean, I know some of the lines etc. But I have never watched the film. It was damn good. I am so late into these things...

If I can make one recommendation that I know people will listen to and then hate me for later, its a film called The Hunger, with David Bowie and Susan Sarandon, amoungst others. Its a vampire film, but not as you know it.. no, there is no singing and crotch thrusting, like you would expect from D.B... which I was sad about, but its a really good tale about 2 vampires - slightly more appealing to men may be that there is quite a few lesbian scenes in it - but other than that, its quite a good story. I can't really elaborate any more, because its easier to watch it than it is to hear about it and THEN watch it... I have been lent a couple of other Vampire films to watch, so can't wait to get stuck in. If you know of any that are good - please let me know. I do like a good vampire tale. :)

Nothing much more to report on in my life I don't think. Make up is going well I think - although I have a tendency to feel a kind of dull aching panic when I am doing someones face. I feel like the n00b of the class, but I do really enjoy it - and I think I am quite good at it, in the end... during the procedure I am very messy, get stuff everywhere and just rely on luck for my 'looks' to be achieved, but they always look good in photos, which is what its all about. Also got my brush kit and brush belt, so I am like a fully kitted out make up artist. Hell yeah. I will try to put some pictures up soonish - if I ever manage to make the time to get them onto the computer.

Another furiously busy week - got to go out to meet friends tonight - the cinema tomorrow (Watchmen, Woo!) and my mothers birthday on Wednesday - what to get her though? What do mums want?

Right - I have just been text a location and time to meet some people. Its like a damn espionage film. I shall put on my trench coat and glasses and get in my inconspicuous car....

adieu.

Sam

For the record, there was no abandonment going on..

Oi!

I didn't abandon my blog, I just couldn't recall my password and it wasn't worth hurting my brain getting back into the site. I just remembered it though. Just now!

Thats the pain of having the same password for EVERYTHING, but just different variations. That's right hackers out there, crack one password and you have a chance of logging into ALL my facebook/Myspace/Empireonline/Forum/Blog pages. I know, the oodles of information that you could acquire is endless... my name, my likes/dislikes.... Yes, for the cleveruns out there. Only the same passwords for the non confidential things. Good lord, I ain't a pudding you know! *MMmmm pudding*

Anyway, I don't have anything to blog about of interest. I haven't been on here in a few weeks, so totally behind on the people I watch too. Which I am annoyed about, because I don't have the patience to catch up. Which is probably why I never did well at school... off for 3 days and that's my entire educational career outta the window.

I got news today that one of my friends (younger, may I add, the bitch) is getting married... now, usually, someone in my position would be confused about this. I love her to pieces, but, well... this is her 3rd boyfriend in possibly just over a year. No joke. And I don't want to doubt their love, but well, back story is that she was with a guy we worked with for about a year, kind of secretly, as he was engaged to someone else - who was pregnant.... but that didn't work out. Shocker. Even though he left his fiance... and then she got with one of her old 'fooling around' guy friends... which, shock horror, didn't work out. I don't know whether it was because he cheated, but I am pretty sure he did, as he did on all his other girlfriends... once with my friend. If that makes sense? and now she is engaged... to HIS BROTHER. Love it. Soap opera heaven. She can do what she wants. A good friend would be worried about her. A better friend would be worried about herself. And so, selflessly, I am. :)

Everyone I know is basically getting married. What's going on? I must be getting to 'that age' - when everyone I know grows up. OOps, looks like I forgot. I have never been in a serious relationship before. Its never been something I was looking for. And how dare all my friends make me feel guilty and left out because of it. Honestly. What's a girl to do?! *Don't worry, I am not really angry, just ranting*

Anywho, for quick update purposes, I have started my photographic and fashion makeup course. Its fun, well, we have had one 8 hour lesson and it was good. I think its going to be something I enjoy. We get our makeup kits and brushes next week. Makeup artistry, here I come. Maybe one day I will figure out what I will do with my life, eh?

Ramblings of a lunatic.

Sam